I have a close friend named S, who is on the autism spectrum. One of the ways it affects her life is through touch. She cannot tolerate people touching her in any way. I have known S for 16 years and in that time, we have developed a strong and close friendship and even I still cannot bump her hand without freaking her out.
At the time of the story, we were both members of a community-based recreation club. A new member joined the club, an M2F transgender person, who had a habit of hugging people as a greeting. S asked them, several times not to hug her, but being a big, burly, overbearing person, they would ignore S and force themselves onto her. “Don’t be stupid” they’d say “Everyone loves a hug.”
S became more and more withdrawn. She was terrified of being alone with this person. The club she loved so much was no longer a haven for her. It wasn’t a single sex club, that would have been against the law in Australia, but it was a place where she was comfortable and felt accepted. This person took that right from her.
Other women in the group began also to express discomfort when around this person. They’d beg us not to let them be alone when this person was around. They were fearful. And so, my girlfriend and I tried to talk to this person reasonably about their behaviors thinking that as lesbians ourselves and members of the ‘rainbow’ community, we may have a common ground to help us project the message. They tried turning the accusations back on us complaining we were victimizing them for being a trans. What absolute self-absorbed idiocy! They were a self-entitled bully who preyed on women.
A fully transitioned individual, having completed top, bottom, and trachea surgery, and yet they still maintained that masculine, dominating attitude that allowed them to think it was ok to force themselves on a woman. They could not be convinced to see it other than harmless play. Anyway, it got to the stage that, with our encouragement and support, S had to make a formal complaint to the Committee that resulted in our ‘friend’ leaving the club with a grudge and mutterings of transphobia.
No amount of surgery, medication, or reassignment could’ transition’ their sense of ingrained male superiority. They are still very much a ‘he’ and a threat to all women. How dare he violate my vulnerable friend in such a way.
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