• anonymous woman

While working in community care, I dressed a transgender man's wound at his townhouse. I always had to go alone. The wound was on his back, right where your shirt and pants meet, but he was always more naked than necessary. When I arrived at his house, he was always wearing just a dressing gown, and the dressing gown was always open at the front. His dressing gown had to be pulled sideways so I could dress the wound which left his bum exposed when it didn't need to be. It was obvious he enjoyed having me see his surgically altered genitals when I didn't need to see them. Some trans widows say their transgender partners have a gleam in their eye. I also noticed that this man has that gleam in his eyes.


He had awards in his townhouse for women's sports competitions that he had won. He would point them out and emphasise they were women's events. He found that amusing.


I have seen him in public. He is aged in his fifties but wears very short skirts. Young women often wear short skirts, but older women have usually outgrown that. When he is dressed like this in public, he appears elated but the family member he is with appears very embarrassed. It’s sad that he doesn’t care if his family are embarrassed, although I have noticed some family members find his way of being amusing.


I wanted to tell my employer that I didn’t feel comfortable seeing this man alone and that I thought his behaviour was concerning, but while working for this company, a pro-gay marriage nurse said she wanted to produce a pamphlet about STDs homosexual men are prone to so we can educate our homosexual clients on how to protect themselves. The staff at that meeting, who had always seemed to be good friends with her, shouted her down.


The staff member who wanted to produce the leaflet was also one rung above the staff members who shouted her down. That doubly surprised me because with other issues, when you disagree with someone who is superior to you in the company, you tell them tactfully and with lots of respect, and if you can't change their mind, you just do what they say, keeping your reservations to yourself.


Another incident that stopped me from speaking up is one time I told a staff member that she needed to bring more dressings with her because he was running out. She said, “SHE. ” This transgender man has sewn-on breasts and a fake vagina but still looks, walks and talks like a man. When a transgender man still looks like a man, it’s hard to remember to use female pronouns.