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  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I have a history of depression and mental illness. I am afraid to speak to mental health professionals now because if I were to need inpatient therapy, there would be TIMs [trans-identified males] housed in the female areas. I have experienced sexual trauma in the past and my worst nightmare is being locked involuntarily in a room with a male. I no longer feel safe seeking crisis mental health support because if I get put on a mental health hold, my roommate might be male and I wouldn't even be allowed to leave until the psych cleared me to leave.

I am also afraid to get pap smears and other gynecological care because if I request a female doctor or at least a female nurse be present during the exam, the hospital is allowed to give me any male who identifies as female. My PTSD knows the difference between male and female, it's not possible to convince my flight-or-fight response that the obviously male nurse is a female just because they're wearing feminine clothing. I'm at an age where I should be getting regular pap smears but I can't because having that procedure done with only males in the room would trigger my PTSD too much.


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