There’s a male musician in my orchestra who dresses in women’s clothing. He won his audition at the same time as a gay male player of the same instrument.
Both of them started using the women’s dressing room. Our personnel manager finally told the male who doesn’t dress in women’s clothes that he can’t use it, but the one who does dress like a woman wasn’t confronted at all. It’s a very small space in a historic opera house, and this women’s-clothing-guy spreads his stuff all around the room and is constantly in there. It’s interesting because, as a liberal-leaning person, I thought the bathroom debate was crazy at face value.
I thought: Who cares about these poor people who just want to live their lives? I thought it was the same as gay rights issues. But then I found myself dressing in the same room as a man, and I hated it. He seems to really relish it. It’s uncomfortable. He doesn’t approach it like the other women in the orchestra. They get in and out quickly, making sure others can use the space. He hangs out in there. I now wear my concert clothes all day even if we have a rehearsal beforehand. I’m not going to change in there any more.