#unitedstates

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and Speak Up for Women, supported by LGB Alliance.

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All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Mar 10, 2022
1 min

"Why does a RadFem Club have a man for president?!"

I met X in my freshman year at college. I was a diehard feminist, self-educated over the internet and was of course supportive of trans women. (Granted, my support was theoretical since I never met one.) I as a matter of course joined up with a radfem club in college, and was a tad surprised when I saw a tall, gangly, obviously male figure wearing tight yoga pants and a flowery skirt. That was X. He must have caught me staring, because he promptly sat down next to me, and

anonymous woman

Dec 6, 2021
1 min

men following women into the bathroom

When I was still in high school before all the gender nonsense took off, I was at the mall with my best friend and we went to use the bathroom. She had already gone in and as I entered, a man followed behind me into the bathroom and immediately the women who were standing at the sink started yelling and he ran out, then they went and told mall security. Now that men can self id as women this man would've been able to follow me into the women's room without getting kicked o

anonymous woman

Dec 6, 2021
2 min

sexual assault by a transwoman during a professional massage

I have a different perspective on trans women because I was sexually assaulted by a trans woman during a massage in Thailand years ago. She was dressed in female clothing, spoke in a soft, high pitched voice and I thought she was a biological female as she came in the room. I explicitly asked for a female masseuse, as always. She had given me a great massage until her foot started rubbing my crotch aggressively. I shockingly realized “she” was a biological male rubbing my

anonymous woman

Aug 23, 2021
1 min

Buy One, Get One Free Male Creep

Went to pick up some new bras since a local store was having a Buy One Get One Free sale & I had a gift card. Picture this scene: an obese, balding, hairy, greasy looking man, topless in the lingerie department, trying on bras right out on the sales floor. Leering at himself in the mirrors as he kneaded his flabby, bra covered moobs; all but groaning & drooling as he'd knead, dropping a hand to his crotch every few seconds to dig & pull at it before trying another bra. I'm

anonymous woman

Jul 8, 2021
1 min

man flashing his junk to kids at wi spa

A person with a penis* and a beard got into the hot tub naked with me and my 6 year old daughter. This was a Korean family spa so it’s normal for small children to be there and everyone is nude. All of the women were uncomfortable, but because this is progressive Los Angeles, no one could say anything. I left the spa with my daughter, management apologized to me because I was upset and crying, and gave me two free passes to the spa. In California anyone who claims to be “tra

anonymous woman

Jun 7, 2021
1 min

style guide for publishing

I work for a publication that recently updated its style guide. When discussing issues of reproductive health (e.g., menstruation or pregnancy) we are no longer allowed to use the word "women." We must instead use "vulva owners" or "menstruators" or "people with uteruses." I am all for making all readers feel seen, but this change is dehumanizing. Just as I would never refer to a trans person by his or her body parts or processes, I don't appreciate being defined by mine. #

anonymous woman

May 12, 2021
2 min

women-only domestic violence shelters

As a child, I spent several months in a domestic violence shelter with my mother and sibling. Even though the fence around the shelter was too high to see over or jump over - even though the address of the shelter was a secret from the public and even the women staying there - I remember my mother begging for a room with no windows. At that point, there weren't many things my father did not stoop to, to remind us he could do whatever he wanted. The possibility that he could s

anonymous woman

May 8, 2021
1 min

united states correctional facility

Washington State has recently begun transferring violent men - men convicted of rape, sexual depravity, and femicide - who “self-identify” as women to the state’s only female correctional facility in Pierce County. One of these men has already violently raped a vulnerable female inmate in the mental health ward. Another man was suspected of undergoing gender reassignment in order to avoid prosecution for his crimes (he was ultimately convicted of murdering three female sex w

anonymous woman

May 1, 2021
1 min

sexual assault trauma & the security of single-sex spaces

A few years ago while at university my male neighbor followed me into my apartment under the guise of casual chit-chat about a shared professor, and once we were inside he cornered me and groped me. I’d walked home in part to use the restroom since I was on my period and had no tampons left in my bag. I kept talking to him to feel more in control and was eventually able to convince him I really needed to return to campus for a class. I did not visit my own bathroom while ho

anonymous woman

Apr 16, 2021
1 min

men in the women's showers on campus

For the past 8 months my college has been allowing men to just use the women's shower whenever they feel like it, which forces me to wait until almost 1.30-2.00am to avoid them, or use my friend's private room almost on the other end of campus. Most of the time the men aren't even using the restroom, they are just in there "hanging out what's the big deal I'm gender neutral I swear". I've repeatedly complained to community living and title IX but all that happened is I was

anonymous woman

Apr 12, 2021
1 min

physical assault of transman by transwoman in denver domestic violence shelter

I was a resident at The Delores Project, a women's domestic violence shelter in Denver Colorado that allows transwomen to stay there. I stayed at Delores between 2015 and 2018. While there, I was assaulted by a transwoman who also stayed there. Even though I was covered in bruises, the staff and volunteers at Delores insisted there was nothing they could do about it. They did not evict the transwoman who assaulted me or punish them in any way. In fact, they instructed me

anonymous woman

Mar 25, 2021
1 min

sexual assault trauma & female doctors, female bathrooms

I was sexually assaulted. The man who did that to me was picked up by the police and confessed. At least he looked like a man and they were able to identify him as a man. Twenty years later, I am still affected by this sexual assault. I am glad that the pap smear exam I just had was with a female doctor. I still needed to have a friend go with me and hold my hand. I need to know that I can easily have access to bathrooms at least where there are only actual females insi

anonymous woman

Mar 21, 2021
2 min

leaky tampons & the importance of female-only bathrooms

The summer I turned 14 my dad took my brother and I on vacation to the beach. We were staying in an oceanfront resort. This was the first time I had ever needed to use tampons (for going in the water). Well we were laying on the beach and I decided I needed to go to the bathroom so I got up and walked back to the resort. Before I went in, I rinsed off the sand from my body with the public shower hose. I noted that there were two boys behind me, laughing. A few moments a

anonymous woman

Mar 20, 2021
1 min

workplace changing rooms

A transgender MTF announced that he wanted to be referred to as Jane. He came to work in heels and makeup and other than being a little flamboyant, he still acted like a man and sounded like one. He was in a management role and the owners and HR held a meeting stating that we had to refer to him as she/her and that he was to start using the women's locker room to change into work attire. Our small group of actual women were told that if we were uncomfortable with him being

anonymous woman

Mar 19, 2021
1 min

24-hour fitness (gym)

I am an avid weight lifter, and the gym is my place of worship. There is now a man who enters the woman's locker room (24 Hour Fitness, Arvada, CO) on a regular basis. I can make assumptions about this man, but I am no longer legally entitled to ask him to leave for my privacy despite my lack of consent to his presence where I remove my clothes. This is state law. He enters regardless of how many women are using the facility or how we feel about being violated while we ar

anonymous woman

Mar 10, 2021
3 min

roomed with MtF in psych ward

Essentially I had a massive mental breakdown and was admitted to the psych hospital multiple times over the course of 2 years, resulting in being on disability that I was approved for on my first application. Doing so in the US is almost impossible and I hope this is a fair emphasis of the degree to which I was impaired mentally. During one such stay, I awoke to a new roommate. I barely registered this, new patients come in regularly when you're hospitalized and they mu

anonymous woman

Mar 4, 2021
1 min

women's bathrooms as a refuge

I was followed home by a drunk man when I used to walk to a bar about two blocks away from my apartment. I stopped at a 24 hour grocery store halfway between, he was speeding up and obviously following me and I didn't want him to know where I lived. I hid in the women's bathroom there for about an hour before he left, he hung out near the front of the store in sight of the bathroom. But even drunk this creepy guy knew he wasn't going to be allowed in the ladies room. He e

anonymous woman

Feb 26, 2021
1 min

bathrooms

This was 26 years ago, so before laws were changed. I was at a busy beach with my toddler nephew. I took him into the women's bathroom to change his diaper and there was a man wearing a pink blouse with the stall door open, masturbating. This same state, California, just passed a law allowing men to self-identify as women and be housed in women's prisons. California has also passed a law that carers who "mis-gender" repeatedly can go to jail. It's ironic (and very tra

anonymous woman

Feb 26, 2021
1 min

lesbian bar

Had an experience at a NYC lesbian bar where a male in a dress, wig, and heels kept grabbing at women trying to dance with them. He grabbed at me twice, and both times, I pulled away. All the women pulled away. Eventually, he threw his hands up (literally) and left, but I actually felt guilty for enforcing boundaries. That's how brainwashed I was. #unitedstates #newyork #lesbianbar #sexualharassment #LesbiansAreWomen

anonymous woman

Feb 26, 2021
2 min

dating app

I was using a mainstream dating app with it set to "women-only" and it was mostly men. Lesbian apps seem even more overrun with men than mainstream apps. Someone with one picture popped up, his bio did not mention he was trans and he passed for a biological woman in that photo. It said he lived on campus and I talked to him, thinking he was a woman. Because it's a small campus and I thought he was a woman, I invited him over my dorm to hang out. I would never invite a man I

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand

Speak Up for Women

Lesbian Action for Visibility in Aotearoa

LGB Alliance Aotearoa New Zealand

Suffragettes NZ

Mana Wāhine Kōrero

WDI Australia and New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom

LGB Alliance UK

Sex Matters

Scottish Labour Women's Declaration

Standing for Women

Stats for Sex Segregation

Women are human

Women's Rights Network

women politicians speaking up for women-only spaces

Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

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organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand ​

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Womens Liberation Aotearoa .nz/

Australia ​​ Save Women's Sports Australasia ​ The Coalition for Biological Reality ​ LGB Defence ​ IWD Brisbane/Meanjin ​ The Victorian Women's Guild ​ Fair Go For Queensland Women Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom​

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Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom