theatre bathrooms

I went to the theatre in Perth with my husband in 2018 (just before I peak-transed). I needed the toilet after the show finished (lots of women did) and when I entered I saw (and heard) a man dressed in women’s clothes standing in the queue in front of me waiting to use one of the cubicles. He was talking to another woman. He was about 6ft 4”, obviously a man and was trying his best to speak and gesture “like a woman”. The rest of us stood quietly and watched. He was very loud. I didn’t think anything of it. I was still in the “be nice” and “they’re not doing any harm” frame of mind. Except (and I didn’t think anything of it at the time) his presence made some women walk straight back out of the women’s toilet as soon as they saw there was a man in the bathroom. They were forced to leave because his presence made them uncomfortable. Then I heard him joking with the woman he was with; “Do you need a tamp?” and he pointed at the tampon dispensing machine. She just laughed. She didn’t answer him. She just laughed it off. But I DID think something of that. I remember feeling uncomfortable and that it was a strange thing to ask a woman. I’ve never asked a friend that, and I’ve never been asked that in the women’s toilets when we’ve been on a girls night out together. You just wouldn’t ask a woman that out of the blue and completely off topic! It was bizarre.

I told my husband about him when we got outside and what he’d said about the tampon machine. He said “Yeah, it’s a sexual thing.” And we got into a bit of a row over it because I tried to argue that it’s not sexual, it’s gender dysphoria and all that. My husband just kept rolling his eyes at me in exasperation. I couldn’t imagine why a “trans woman” would get off on women’s periods and tampons etc. They believe they are a woman, so why would they get off on tampons and period blood? My husband’s words; “If you can think of it, there’s a man out there who will sexualise it and wank over it”.

#australia #theatre #tampons #sexualfetishes

campus bathrooms

I was in my penultimate year of a law and arts degrees many years ago when Wollongong University Arts faculty building changed their bathrooms (at least on the level my class was on) to gender neutral to be more inclusive. I felt beyond extremely uncomfortable using the toilets, especially during 'time of the month' knowing that biological males were there too - regardless of how they identify. I felt degraded and disrespected and, most importantly, very unsafe. I only ever used them once. My daughter will never be allowed in a public bathroom alone. Her safety, and all girls safety, takes priority over a grown man's feelings that evidence he is in an unstable and vulnerable mental state.

#australia #universitycampus #genderneutralbathrooms #bathrooms #toilets #menstruation

women's clothing store

My 71-year-old disabled mother was trying on clothes in a Millers (womens clothing chain) change room in Tasmania (where we have self-ID), and was horrified to find herself sharing the change rooms with a tall, muscular man with a shaved head, wearing stilettos and a bodycon skirt. The man was talking loudly about how wonderful it was that he was allowed to try on clothes there. My mother felt so uncomfortable being undressed beside a strange man with only a 2/3 height door to the change room stall between them -- in stilettos he was easily tall enough to see over. Being disabled, she often has to ask the shop assistant for help in getting different sizes to try on, and as her physical mobility is limited, sometimes she has to speak with the shop assistant while still partially undressed. Often the change room door is open while this happens. What bothers me most is that he could have chosen any chain store catering to both sexes, but instead he went to Millers, that bastion of elderly women's slacks, crepe frocks, and polyester nightgowns. There certainly weren't any more stilettos or bodycon skirts there, so I'm not sure what he expected to be trying on, but from the way he spoke, he was a regular visitor to those change rooms. Why, exactly? We're supposed to accept his presence because it would supposedly be unsafe for him to share male spaces with fellow men. But in this situation, who is the threat? A tall, muscular, middle-aged man, who feels confident enough in his self-expression to wear stilettoes and bodycon clothing -- or a 71 year old, disabled woman in a state of undress? This is just so wrong.

#australia #tasmania #millers #changingrooms #selfID