In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.
This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, AWW Inc. and supported by LGB Alliance.
Had an experience at a NYC lesbian bar where a male in a dress, wig, and heels kept grabbing at women trying to dance with them. He grabbed at me twice, and both times, I pulled away. All the women pulled away. Eventually, he threw his hands up (literally) and left, but I actually felt guilty for enforcing boundaries. That's how brainwashed I was.
At my former workplace it was decided, without consultation, that one toilet block would become 'all genders.' This particular block was female, so there would now be one fewer female toilet block in the building. A number of female staff were upset, but didn't dare speak up. I said it was sexist and discriminatory, but was met with incredulous stares from management. I also asked why one of the male blocks was not converted to 'all genders.' We were told we had to be inclusive, as we sometimes had non-binary and trans staff members.The building was largely, but not exclusively, used as a language centre, with most students and the overwhelming majority of staff being female. There were often queues for the women's toilets (even before the introduction of the 'all genders' block), and of course we have many extra needs/biological functions that men do not, so tend to take far longer to do what we need to... There were also no dedicated disabled/all access single lockable toilets, or dedicated spaces for women to breastfeed. I once saw a group of women who were a attending a conference there - they all had small babies and were changing them on the carpet in a small nook off a hallway, as there was nowhere else! This was still going on in early 2020, just before I left. A very unfriendly place for women.
I was using a mainstream dating app with it set to "women-only" and it was mostly men. Lesbian apps seem even more overrun with men than mainstream apps.
Someone with one picture popped up, his bio did not mention he was trans and he passed for a biological woman in that photo. It said he lived on campus and I talked to him, thinking he was a woman. Because it's a small campus and I thought he was a woman, I invited him over my dorm to hang out. I would never invite a man I didn't know over to where I live before meeting him in a public space first. He showed up and my fight or flight went off, but because of all the stigma around rejecting transwomen and worry for my own safety if he reacted badly I let him in. We hung out for a while, talking and playing video games, before he turned to me and told me he was trans as if I didn't know. He eventually left after I repeatedly tried to hint that I wanted him to without offending him but it took a long time.
The way I was put in a position where I felt like I had to let a man I didn't know into my dorm in case he couldn't handle rejection shows that men pretending to be women on dating apps is putting women in vulnerable positions they otherwise wouldn't be in, and the social stigma around rejecting transwomen makes it worse. My school is small and I was worried about social fallout if he decided I had been mean to him, and I was also worried about my own safety.
