dating app

I was using a mainstream dating app with it set to "women-only" and it was mostly men. Lesbian apps seem even more overrun with men than mainstream apps.

Someone with one picture popped up, his bio did not mention he was trans and he passed for a biological woman in that photo. It said he lived on campus and I talked to him, thinking he was a woman. Because it's a small campus and I thought he was a woman, I invited him over my dorm to hang out. I would never invite a man I didn't know over to where I live before meeting him in a public space first. He showed up and my fight or flight went off, but because of all the stigma around rejecting transwomen and worry for my own safety if he reacted badly I let him in. We hung out for a while, talking and playing video games, before he turned to me and told me he was trans as if I didn't know. He eventually left after I repeatedly tried to hint that I wanted him to without offending him but it took a long time.

The way I was put in a position where I felt like I had to let a man I didn't know into my dorm in case he couldn't handle rejection shows that men pretending to be women on dating apps is putting women in vulnerable positions they otherwise wouldn't be in, and the social stigma around rejecting transwomen makes it worse. My school is small and I was worried about social fallout if he decided I had been mean to him, and I was also worried about my own safety.

#unitedstates #datingapp #virtualspaces #dating #campus #students #deception

unisex toilets

There was a line to use the new unisex toilets in the park. The cubicles are long and thin with the toilet at the far end and the door opening directly onto the public pathway. The first available toilet was filthy so I allowed the man behind me to go first. He said that if I was waiting for a clean cubicle I would be wasting my time as they all had urine covered floors and seats.

I was about to leave and try my luck in the shopping centre when one of the cubicle doors opened and three little children came bursting out leaving their mother on display sitting on the toilet and unable to reach the door to close it. Strangers had to close the door and promise to look after her kids while she finished up. Every woman except the one minding the children left the line without using the toilets.

#australia #unisextoilets #bathrooms #privacy #dignity #genderneutral #singlesexspaces

college dormitory

At my college in Michigan they let trans people tick the box of what sex they want to live with. They made this change after a trans-identified male lived in a female dorm with 3 women and there were no incidents. The reason the women didn't complain is because they didn't know he was trans. I think that women have a right to know that they're living with a male. They signed up to live in an all female dorm, and that's not what they got. This will surely cause complications in the future because future trans people that choose to room with the opposite sex might not pass, which will at least mean that the people they're living with will know what's going on and will have the opportunity to complain. Another problem is that the only way to avoid being roomed with a trans person is to tick the box that says you're "not LGBTQ+ friendly" which is a box gay people will not be ticking, leaving lesbians stuck living with men that fetishize them. This is going to limit the options of who gay people can be roomed with because people will say they're not LGBT friendly just to avoid living with the opposite sex.

#unitedstates #collegedorm #dormitory #accommodations #students