No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand and the UK  by members of the LGB Alliance and Speak Up for Women.

  • @ConflictSaid
  • anonymous woman

I have been a member of a female-only book club populated by women in their late 20s for about two years now (the second of those years was held virtually). About two months ago in-between books a new member joined, who was a very lithe person with long hair who had she/her listed next to the name on zoom. I didn't think much about it, assuming they were a female given that we all were, but then our group leader asked us to tell our pronouns. I was confused, but said she/her as everyone else did. The next meeting, it was announced that we were reading Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg. Upon diving into the book, I found that it talked about transgender females who identified as men. At the meeting after, I calmly expressed that I didn't feel comfortable talking about transgenders. The lithe person from before started getting very upset, and when their voice got louder I realized that he was a man. I told him that he shouldn't be in our book club as it was for females, and the rest of the members got angry at me too. Because of my difference in a opinion, I was kicked out of my book club which has given me so much support during the pandemic.

#unitedstates #bookclub #femaleonlyclubs #clubs

  • anonymous woman

In Brighton & Hove the centre providing services to female victims of domestic violence has been deemed as being not inclusive enough and had its funding withdrawn. The centre had actually started providing services to trans women yet this was not considered inclusive enough. As a victim of extreme male violence in the past (resulting in several weeks in the hospital, extensive surgery and numerous metal plates needed to hold my face together), just the sound of a man's voice puts me on edge. Two years into my recovery, the sound of a man still triggers me. I can sense a male at 20 feet. The presence of a man sets my anxiety and PTSD off, it takes me days to settle. As such, even after lots of therapy, I can only access women-only spaces. The fact that women-only services are being withdrawn, at the demand of biological men, especially those who claim to be women, means victims of male violence, like me, have no safe space, no specialist support, no value, no consideration. Women who have experienced extensive trauma at the hands of men are told to shut up, to stop being a TERF and think about the needs of the 'transpeople'. I would rather the 'transpeople' thought about the experiences and needs of women. Especially women trying to recover from male violence.

#unitedkingdom #brightonandhove #domesticviolenceservices

  • anonymous woman

Over the past few years, online lesbian groups have started to adopt the 'inclusive' agenda. Meaning that lesbian groups are no longer women-only spaces. If you ask if men are permitted into the group, if they claim they are women, you are called a TERF and excluded. Actual lesbians excluded from lesbian spaces for asking this question! A similar thing has happened to online lesbian dating sites. Now if a male 'identifies' as female, and claims they are a lesbian, they are permitted to join and contact you. I have had at least five men, all dressed in skimpy underwear (clearly showing they are intact males) attempt to contact me, even though my profile clearly states I am only interested in dating single natal lesbian females. I get that some men want to 'identify' as transgender. But it is offensive they claim to be lesbians, appropriate our spaces and appear to be predatory males with a fetish.

#unitedkingdom #lesbiandating #onlinespaces