centre for women vulnerable to committing crime

I used to volunteer at a centre for women who were vulnerable to committing crime. Each women was assigned to a case worker who supported them, and from the centre they could access counselling, help with addictions, life skills support etc. It was a much-needed but desperately underfunded project, which was oversubscribed. It was also trans[women]-inclusive, with the threat of funding being withdrawn if it were not. There were two trans-identified males in regular attendance. One in particular was very loud and flirted with the other women; his deep voice could be heard echoing down the corridor when group therapy sessions were taking place. I once overheard him lament the fact that women no longer wanted to date him now that he was transitioning and had become ‘a lesbian’. The other trans person was very quiet and serious, and about 6ft 5 in heels and physically intimidating. I acted dumb and queried with some of the caseworkers: why were there men here? They looked nervous, and quickly closed the office door. Then they told me that they agree, but were not allowed to challenge the inclusion of trans-identified males, and are forced to pretend that they are women. They told me that it was having a very negative impact on the service. Some of the clients were angry about the inclusion of males and had stopped attending. These were very vulnerable women with histories of domestic and sexual violence, prostitution and addictions; women with complex needs who very much needed a female-only service. In many cases, the women’s social workers had spent months persuading them to attend the service. The fact that it was women-only was of vital importance to these women and to their ability to heal from trauma and get their lives together. They felt lied-to and gaslit by the inclusion of males, and the insistence that they must regard these males as women. It was traumatising for them - the very people who the service was for! But when the caseworkers raised these concerns they were told that these men ARE women, and were sent on ‘Inclusion and diversity training’. Women are socialised to be on-guard against male violence and spend our whole lives accommodating to it. We are blamed for taking risks that expose us to it. And yet these survivors of male violence were supposed to be unaffected by the presence of males! Regardless of how someone presents or identifies, the ‘reptilian’ part of a women’s brain knows who is male and responds accordingly. How could it not do! And yet if a male plumber or IT worker needed to enter the centre, there were strict rules in place that this had to be outside of office hours when no clients would be present - in order to avoid traumatising the vulnerable female clientele!

#centreforwomen #vulnerablewomen #supportcentre #malesocialisation

safe spaces for survivors

I was sexually abused as a child and sexually assaulted as a young woman multiple times; I suffer from Complex-PTSD. A transitioning person with a very male body came into the toilets and I started shaking uncontrollably and I dissociated. I didn’t want to have this reaction - I can’t imagine what it feels like to feel trapped in the wrong body - I feel empathetic but my body had its own response. I’m sad and frustrated that we don’t seem to be allowed to discuss this issue - everything just blows up because there’s no room for error, ignorance, learning or contemplation. I don’t know whether all or most transitioning people (male to female) want to use the ladies toilet. If they do, the question I would like to be able to ask is: "if you’re really, truly a female, why don’t you understand or care that your obviously male body is intimidating and triggering for me?" As a woman I have had to cope with what men in men’s bodies want to do and now I have to cope with what women in men’s bodies want to do. We both need a safe space but your safe space is not my safe space.

#australia #safespaces #survivors #trauma #triggering #PTSD

changing rooms & women's culture

I have had breast cancer and I didn't get a breast reconstruction. This makes me quite sensitive about being seen undressed. I was in the changing rooms at Myer Melbourne in the city store and came out of my cubicle half-dressed to check my appearance. There was a man standing in the common area where the mirrors were.

The changing cubicles also have curtains and which do not necessarily ensure privacy as the edges might not go straight to the wall.

When I complained to the Myer staff they said that men's rights meant that they couldn't stop men from coming into the women's changing rooms. Although my experience didn't involve a male who claimed to be of anything other than his biological gender, the Myer staff said that when they asked men to leave the changing rooms, men would say that they were transgender or transitioning and that the staff were being discriminatory.

I don't mind if people what to claim that they are whatever but I do feel as if transgender men are stealing women's space. It is not unusual for minorities who are less powerful to feel as if their spaces are being stolen from them e.g. African Americans not liking white Americans using terms from African American English dialects.

It is interesting that men by birth don't seem to mind women who transgender to men taking their space.

We all find it very offensive when white people claim that they are from black and other oppressed minorities ... why can't women protect their identity and space?

I also find that the aggressiveness of the transgender supporters is very unwomanlike. The little things that oppress women are men's often unconscious way of using their greater size, louder voices and aggression ... these attributes continue to oppress women when it is a transgender person who is dominating the conversation.

Thank you for listening to this rant. It is time that those of us who are women-born and endowed with XX chromosomes can defend our culture and identity. #australia #melbourne #womensculture #changingrooms #bodysensitivity #privacy #dignity