#safety

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and Speak Up for Women, supported by LGB Alliance.

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All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Jul 17, 2021
2 min

man hanging out in woman's gym changing room, watching women

My son's kindy teacher told me her experience after I mentioned I was going to a Speak Up for Women discussion. I have asked her to write it. These are her words below. “My friend and I were members of the local gym. We went most days to improve our strength and fitness so important especially for woman reaching their 60s who are no longer engaged in sports. One day we entered the female changing room of the gym to get ready for our session, as we had done many times before.

anonymous woman

Jun 21, 2021
1 min

scienceworks & immunologist's office bathrooms

Firstly at Scienceworks in Melbourne, their main toilet is unisex so you walk into the bathroom area and line up to wait for the cubicles to be free. On one occasion a few years ago I took my young daughters in and there were people in line, including two men. There was nothing unusual or threatening about these men whatsoever but I felt very uncomfortable and was glad I hadn't sent my daughters in on their own. A couple of years ago I went with my husband to his appointment

anonymous woman

Jun 16, 2021
1 min

women's toilets in hospital

Went into a women's toilet in a Sydney hospital. There was a trans woman in there just standing around. I didn't want to leave the cubicle as said person was still lingering by the sink. I was afraid to go and wash my hands. Finally I heard the main door and assumed they had left so I left the cubicle only to find they were still in there just standing around. I skipped washing my hands and left abruptly. #australia #hospital #safety #discomfort #bathrooms #toilets

anonymous woman

Jun 4, 2021
1 min

man in hampstead women's pond

Today I went to the Women's Pond in Hampstead, London, UK. After my swim, as I was getting my bike, I noticed a middle-aged, long-haired, massively beer-gutted man walk out from the pond looking very pleased with himself. My overwhelming feeling was one of not being safe. The changing rooms are shut and women change in the open. I didn't know where he had been, or what he had been seeing. He didn't look as if he had been swimming. #unitedkingdom #hamsteadheath #womenspond #

anonymous woman

Jun 2, 2021
2 min

aged care

I was a full-time carer for my partner after she developed early onset dementia. As a homosexual, her biggest fear was being sent to a facility where men were also accommodated. One night, she literally threw herself out of our bed with nightmares of being chased down the corridor by men. On the only occasion that I put her into a respite facility, I was assured they separated the men from the women. The next morning I got there to find all doors were open and men were wander

anonymous woman

May 12, 2021
2 min

women-only domestic violence shelters

As a child, I spent several months in a domestic violence shelter with my mother and sibling. Even though the fence around the shelter was too high to see over or jump over - even though the address of the shelter was a secret from the public and even the women staying there - I remember my mother begging for a room with no windows. At that point, there weren't many things my father did not stoop to, to remind us he could do whatever he wanted. The possibility that he could s

anonymous woman

May 8, 2021
1 min

united states correctional facility

Washington State has recently begun transferring violent men - men convicted of rape, sexual depravity, and femicide - who “self-identify” as women to the state’s only female correctional facility in Pierce County. One of these men has already violently raped a vulnerable female inmate in the mental health ward. Another man was suspected of undergoing gender reassignment in order to avoid prosecution for his crimes (he was ultimately convicted of murdering three female sex w

anonymous woman

May 8, 2021
3 min

dangerous male offender accesses canadian women's domestic violence shelter

I have been at my organization since 2009, and began front line in the shelter. Our shelter is an emergency shelter for women victims of domestic violence. Maybe 7 years ago, give or take, I was told at shift exchange that an intake would be arriving from out of town later that evening. As a side note, we are single-staffed. All I knew was the general gist of the womens crisis call, her name, and the city she was fleeing. She arrived later that shift and what I saw on our se

anonymous woman

May 7, 2021
1 min

if a man follows you into the bathroom, don't worry! he knows his gender identity better than you

a teenage girl in melbourne was followed into a toilet block and raped by a 45 year-old man, according to this news report. activists for gender identity campaign for women to not ask questions when they see men in their bathrooms. see e.g. this and this. #australia #melbourne #rape #sexualassault #safety #maleviolence

anonymous woman

May 4, 2021
2 min

canadian women's shelter

Years ago I dated a man who turned out to be very narcissistic and entitled. I broke up with him because over time I realized these things, and he became more rude and started asking for sexual acts I was not comfortable doing. We live in a small Canadian town with 1 women’s shelter. I know several women who have used the home over the years. They have a confidentiality agreement, but of course when something happens that they need to talk about, there’s no stopping it.

anonymous woman

May 1, 2021
1 min

sexual assault trauma & the security of single-sex spaces

A few years ago while at university my male neighbor followed me into my apartment under the guise of casual chit-chat about a shared professor, and once we were inside he cornered me and groped me. I’d walked home in part to use the restroom since I was on my period and had no tampons left in my bag. I kept talking to him to feel more in control and was eventually able to convince him I really needed to return to campus for a class. I did not visit my own bathroom while ho

anonymous woman

May 1, 2021
1 min

ladies' toilets

Around 2016, the conversation around transwomen in women's spaces really began to pick up. I was told by a colleague that it was ridiculous to think that a pervert/rapist would take this as an opportunity to go into women's toilets and harass women. It wasn't long after this conversation when I was on a night out and went to the women's toilets to find a man in women's clothes. He was a feminine man who was perhaps pre-transition. He came across to me as a friendly gay ma

anonymous woman

Apr 21, 2021
1 min

melbourne bar makes its toilets unisex while asking about women's safety

I recently went out to a bar in Brunswick, Melbourne. Since the last time I was there all the toilets have been made unisex. Whilst I was in line, a male person wearing female clothing joined the line and tried to make small talk with me. I have not experienced this behaviour from other women during previous visits to this venue. I also saw unattended drinks left on the sink. What really made me angry was a sign inside the formerly-female toilet doors saying there has been a

anonymous woman

Apr 14, 2021
1 min

mixed-sex hospital wards

I have been admitted into public hospital and had to share a room with a male each time. It was extremely uncomfortable, particularly when the doctors were discussing personal physical issues easily overheard by the other patient. Going to the bathroom while managing a drip machine and keeping the hospital garment closed in the back was difficult. Going into a heavy drug induced sleep in a room with an unknown ambulatory male is very stressful. #australia #hospital #mixedsex

anonymous woman

Apr 13, 2021
1 min

male brings claim against order of nuns running a domestic violence shelter

The current state of affairs has been in the making for some decades. About 20 years ago I acted pro bono for an Order of nuns who ran, among other charitable programs, a refuge for women and children who had been forced to leave their homes due to domestic violence. A claim was brought against the Order by a trans person, of quite notable size and stature, because they had been refused a place in the refuge. The accomodation provided for the women and children at that time c

anonymous woman

Apr 12, 2021
1 min

science centre bathrooms

Five years ago, I was taking my four-year old to the women’s bathroom at the children’s science centre. When I arrived, an older man was in the bathroom washing his hands and talking to two unaccompanied girls (it is a kids’ science museum after all). When I entered, he said “Oh, is this the women’s restroom? I must be confused” and left. I watched him recording children playing in the museum on his phone afterwards and notified the staff. I question myself about what I would

anonymous woman

Apr 11, 2021
2 min

off the scale agression for agreeing with jk rowling

Last summer, at the height of the vicious JK Rowling witch-hunt, our street had a party. Those few of us left at sundown were invited into a neighbouring garden to continue chatting around a fire by the two twenty-something-year-old men who occupied the house. One was a little effeminate (I’ll call him Mr X) and I thought he may be gay, although they were clearly housemates, not a couple. We were all getting on very well and the atmosphere was fun, until my husband brought

anonymous woman

Apr 9, 2021
1 min

escaping sexual assault

When I was nine years old a group of boys chased me and held me down and put their hands down my undies and up my skirt. I don't remember how I got away but I did, and the chase was on again - I remember getting a bloody knee while tripping but I just got back up and kept running to the girls toilet. The reason why those boys (monsters) stopped chasing me was because it was the girls toilets. Can you imagine what would have happened to me if they allowed boys claim to iden

anonymous woman

Apr 9, 2021
1 min

self-ID and pub bathrooms

Recently I was out to dinner at a pub with my male partner. There was a quite obviously male person there in a dress and high heels, making them well over 6 feet tall. In itself this wasn't an issue; the issue was that the women's bathroom was a distance away and down a corridor. I was nervous to use it in case this person came in. Like many women I am a survivor of childhood abuse, and the idea of a large man potentially being in my personal space was intimidating to the p

anonymous woman

Apr 6, 2021
2 min

the new trans activism triggering childhood sexual abuse trauma

Becoming aware of gender ideology and the activities of trans activists has triggered feelings linked to my experience of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). I have not felt these feelings so strongly for many years but the sexual objectification of women by AGP men, the threats, silencing, and gaslighting are all very evocative of that earlier experience and have raised my anxiety levels considerably. This in turn has caused a relapse of my physical health as I also live with chro

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand

Speak Up for Women

Lesbian Action for Visibility in Aotearoa

LGB Alliance Aotearoa New Zealand

Suffragettes NZ

Mana Wāhine Kōrero

WDI Australia and New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom

LGB Alliance UK

Sex Matters

Scottish Labour Women's Declaration

Standing for Women

Stats for Sex Segregation

Women are human

Women's Rights Network

women politicians speaking up for women-only spaces

Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

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organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand ​

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Womens Liberation Aotearoa .nz/

Australia ​​ Save Women's Sports Australasia ​ The Coalition for Biological Reality ​ LGB Defence ​ IWD Brisbane/Meanjin ​ The Victorian Women's Guild ​ Fair Go For Queensland Women Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom​

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Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom