No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and Speak Up for Women, supported by LGB Alliance.

  • @ConflictSaid
  • anonymous woman

A revered, well-known trans ‘woman’; & often engaged public speaker on topics of gender and LGB health, made what I consider to be inappropriate (and high-risk behaviour) remarks online; which I called out. To then be, through my own actions labelled a TERF.

In the PVAW* field in which I have worked for over 35 years, I came under fire and wore the brunt of this label causing me great distress. (Since quit my job)

The Incident.

During Covid lockdown #1 in Naarm/Melbourne, this person stated on social media, that the two male dates that had been lined up that night, for sex, had cancelled due to their wives finding out. This trans woman (and social media friends) thought it was hilarious.

I felt compelled to remark, on the social media post that this behaviour was: disrespectful to these men’s wives, high risk during a Covid lockdown and the behaviour was exactly the type of stereotypical promiscuous behaviour of men (as opposed to women - referring to this person’s gender identity). The type of behaviours women have been fighting to challenge forever.

Needless to say, what transpired after this was not only this person’s wrath but then to be regarded by colleagues (those who knew) as a ‘transphobe’. Gender critical discussions are taboo in the PVAW and gender equity workforces. (* PVAW stands for Preventing Violence Against Women) #Melbourne #FreeSpeech #Misogyny

  • anonymous woman

I have a male friend who, since a relationship breakdown, has taken to performing drag.

This was initially just a performance thing, but he's recently taken to dressing up frequently and for general social gatherings. When in drag, he wants to be called a female name and uses the women's toilets. Our other friends seem perfectly okay with this, but I am not. In fact, some of them vocally champion him and deride anyone who speaks up. I've distanced myself from them as a group, but it makes me sad that I've lost a group of friends.

Furthermore, he got 'harassed' by a man when he was in drag, so he's gone on to be a spokesman for 'women being harassed by men. It is sad that he was harassed, but that does not make him eligible to speak about women being harassed.

#FemaleAppropriation #WomenFace

  • anonymous woman

I don't know if this counts, as this is somewhat preemptive... I have an advertisement up for renting a room in my house on In my ad, I say "women only". I still get the occasional man messaging me... and the occasional trans person. If it's a man, I politely point out the "women only" part of my ad, and it's no harm done.

Things are different though if it's a trans person though... sadly, I know from past experience how aggressive trans people can get (I've had death threats before) when told "no", and I'm scared of "pissing one off". I have to make up excuses as to why they can't come round and inspect my room... excuses that are very flimsy and would often easily fall down if the person at the other end was persistent.

I'm scared that if they realise I'm scared of them (this is literally what transphobia is) they will want to hurt me. And it would be very easy for them to find out where I live... alone, I might add... by asking one of their friends to apply instead.

Renting out a room shouldn't have to be a fearful process... or if it is, it should be within my rights to say "no" to anyone who is not of the same sex... it has become this way because I'm scared that if I say "no" to a trans person (or even admit that I'm scared) they will get violent.

#RightofAssociation #SingleSexAccomodation #Aggression

organizations working to protect women-only spaces