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No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and supported by LGB Alliance.

  • @ConflictSaid
  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I have a male friend who, since a relationship breakdown, has taken to performing drag.

This was initially just a performance thing, but he's recently taken to dressing up frequently and for general social gatherings. When in drag, he wants to be called a female name and uses the women's toilets. Our other friends seem perfectly okay with this, but I am not. In fact, some of them vocally champion him and deride anyone who speaks up. I've distanced myself from them as a group, but it makes me sad that I've lost a group of friends.

Furthermore, he got 'harassed' by a man when he was in drag, so he's gone on to be a spokesman for 'women being harassed by men. It is sad that he was harassed, but that does not make him eligible to speak about women being harassed.

#FemaleAppropriation #WomenFace #SelfID

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I don't know if this counts, as this is somewhat pre-emptive... I have an advertisement up for renting a room in my house on In my ad, I say "women only". I still get the occasional man messaging me... and the occasional trans person. If it's a man, I politely point out the "women only" part of my ad, and it's no harm done.

Things are different though if it's a trans person though... sadly, I know from past experience how aggressive trans people can get (I've had death threats before) when told "no", and I'm scared of "pissing one off". I have to make up excuses as to why they can't come round and inspect my room... excuses that are very flimsy and would often easily fall down if the person at the other end was persistent.

I'm scared that if they realise I'm scared of them (this is literally what transphobia is) they will want to hurt me. And it would be very easy for them to find out where I live... alone, I might add... by asking one of their friends to apply instead.

Renting out a room shouldn't have to be a fearful process... or if it is, it should be within my rights to say "no" to anyone who is not of the same sex... it has become this way because I'm scared that if I say "no" to a trans person (or even admit that I'm scared) they will get violent.

#RightofAssociation #SingleSexAccomodation #Aggression #SingleSexSpaces

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I’m in the performing arts community. Lately, there have been a lot of discussions around the lack of “trans” and “non-binary” performers in the circus space, despite a few famous performers in my field from bygone eras being female impersonators and many young students coming up through the ranks identifying as trans or non-binary.

Because of this, the pendulum has swung hard and it’s nearly impossible to get a job if you were born a woman and identify as a woman unless you are a woman of color, and even then it’s performative diversity. Everyone is scrambling to prove how progressive and accepting they are. This seems to only affect women performers, as men have it just as easy as always to get jobs.

I’m already fighting hard in a specialized field for recognition, and now my pronouns are standing in the way of work, at least in my local community. It’s frustrating. Coaches are asking children as young as 6 about their pronouns and kids are feeling pressured to use “they/them” as opposed to “she/her” (it’s never the boys, you see) and honestly, it’s a bit much. Can’t kids just be kids without worrying about gender identity?

Why does my personal gender identity matter when auditioning when it should be my physical skill set and performance quality that matters?

#femaleExclusion #femaleDiscrimination #SexNotGender #ExclusionOfWomen

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