No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interests. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Melbourne, Australia by members of the LGB Alliance Australia.

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  • @ConflictSaid

For anyone who hasn't come across it, there's a website dedicated to platforming stories of female people (women) in the LGBTQ+ community. Submissions are anonymous, like for this site. Check them out.


https://unspeakablelgbtq.weebly.com/


[*Moderator's note: in case it wasn't obvious, this post is not a submission].

A couple of days ago, I went to my local nail salon to get my nails done. It’s a pretty small place, but the women who work there are always so friendly and great at their job.


So I’m getting my nails painted, and it’s just me, one other customer, and 3 workers. About ten minutes before I’m finished, an AGP (autogynephile) walks in.


(From a distance I couldn’t quite tell if the person was a dude, but he had a shitty wig on with a hat on top, to hide the obvious wig, and the moment he speaks, he has a deep, VERY typical man's voice).


He asks for a pedicure. The worker sets everything up, all good to go, no dramas.


THE MOMENT he sits down, he starts practically interrogating the poor worker, in a louder-than-necessary voice (louder than when he first arrived, like he wanted all of us to hear him), about the Brazilian waxing they do.


“Does it hurt much?” “How quickly does the hair grow back?” “Do I have to spread the skin, or do you do that?” “Do you ever get people who sometimes enjoy it?” “Do I have to be completely naked for it?” “How far in do you go?” “Is it a problem if the person is a bit...wet, when you’re waxing them?”


Those last ten minutes were the most sickening, awkward and downright cringiest I have ever endured. The poor girl doing my nails was staring down at my nails but I could tell just how uncomfortable she was. Hell, EVERYONE but him was uncomfortable!! My fucking skin was crawling.


I really, really wish I had spoken up, but I honestly felt so fucking dirty and gross being in there listening to him talk like that, and wanted to fucking puke; it was almost like the verbal equivalent of some creep feeling you up.


#australia #nailsalon #autogynephilia #exhibitionism #discomfort #sexualisation #violation

The new NHMRC (National Health and Medical Research Council) gender-neutral guidelines give preference to the term 'Parental Leave'. Not 'Maternity Leave'. As a mother, I took maternity leave - which has implicit recognition of the additional burden of carrying a developing human in my womb for the better part of a year, giving birth to that precious new human, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and all the other experiences of motherhood, that only mothers - who take maternity leave - experience. A mother who takes 10 months of maternity leave does not have the same amount of career interruption as a father who takes 10 months of parental leave. Words matter. Having to use the term 'parental leave' takes away all additional recognition of the different experience of mothers.


#australia #language #terminology #inclusivity #erasingdifference #parentalleave #maternityleave #guidelines