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No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and supported by LGB Alliance.

  • @ConflictSaid
  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

In February 2021, I posted a purple image onto a lesbian social facebook page. It was in response to a Green Party announcement. It said

"PURPLES call for inclusion of Ban on the Conversion of young Androgenous Women into Men". Then it, along with my message "No direspect but remember what it feels like as a young woman ..." wasn't visible anymore. The next day I added 'Anyone else remember how weird it was to have breasts appear after what had been your whole life flat chested? Remember the thoughts and feelings?

The message was removed!

The rule I had broken was rule no. 1 - Be kind to one another (which includes not disrespecting someone with a different p.o.v.). I was messaged that "we don't want any kind of anti trans gender conversations anywhere in our group we welcome all people no matter who they are or who they choose to be. I request no further comments that will create anger from our members ..."

So, no place to talk with other local lesbians, on-line and respectfully, about our experiences of disconnection from, or surprise about, our bodies as young girls and how we coped with men being interested in our bodies and our desire to appear androgynous, rather than pretend we were men.

#Lesbian #SingleSexSpaces #RightOfAssociation #FreeSpeech

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

On the NZ Lesbians Social Group fb page on 11th Nov. 2020 I saw discussion of storming into a lesbian's workplace with a 'troop'. So I responded simply by quoting the page's rule - 'we love women and we respect them', with a question mark.

Then I couldn't get onto the page anymore.

What they had written was:- "My gf is constantly being told by her lesbian work colleague that shes not a real lesbian because I'm not a real woman ... tbh I really want to storm her work place with a whole troop of trans women and dear [sic] them to say it again"

They were offered help with the 'storm in'.

#singlesexspaces #lesbiansAreWomen #NewZealand

I am a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous who has been sober a number of decades. I was struggling during Covid lockdown due to isolation from my friends & support people and because my small business was closed which put me in extreme financial stress. A friend in AA suggested I do an online meeting so I looked up a Women Only meeting. We have a problem with predatory men in AA and its important particularly for new women to stick with other women and learn how to manage the problems in their life sober through peer support. The way alcoholism impacts women physically and psychologically and the foundation of our recovery is vastly different to the way it impacts men. When I stopped drinking women used to say “Stick with the Women” and I believe if I hadn’t listened to them I would not be sober today. So during Covid Lockdown I logged in to the only women only online meeting. Not only was there a man in a dress in the meeting but he was chairing the meeting. Choosing speakers and speaking himself. Centring himself in a group of vulnerable women. To add insult to injury this person is a prominent media personality with a military background so some of the attendees seemed enamoured to have a “celebrity” in their midst and were practically fawning over him. I left in disgust.

All I could think about was the new vulnerable women, usually coming to terms with the reasons they drank, most often as a consequence abuse at the hands of men. Almost all female alcoholics experienced abuse or sexual assault during active alcoholism. And they turn up to a meeting because they are thinking about drinking and instead of seeing women and experiencing identification and receiving support they are confronted by a narcissistic man in a female only space demanding to be the centre of attention. I contacted AA to complain it was “women only” and they told me there was nothing they could do about it.

#Melbourne, #Victoria, #Australia. #SingleSexSpaces

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