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No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and supported by LGB Alliance.

  • @ConflictSaid

I have a different perspective on trans women because I was sexually assaulted by a trans woman during a massage in Thailand years ago. She was dressed in female clothing, spoke in a soft, high pitched voice and I thought she was a biological female as she came in the room. I explicitly asked for a female masseuse, as always. She had given me a great massage until her foot started rubbing my crotch aggressively. I shockingly realized “she” was a biological male rubbing my vulva in a foreign country and I’m now all alone with him in the building. I actually thought to my young 20 something self “is this a normal Thai massage?!!” (I’m not presumptive when i truly don’t know!) Better to just pay and get out.

Yeah, that’s what happened - I paid someone to physically violate me. I never thought of the situation as “I was assualted by a trans woman”. In my mind, I thought I had been assaulted by a man- until recently. JK Rowling said “trans women are not women” and I was genuinely confused. Was this a debate? Was I assaulted by a woman? If I’m looking for a new gynecologist do I need to specify if this female doctor is a biological female or biological male who identifies as female - I think the question is fair enough given what I’d been through.

I have zero problems whatsoever with trans people. They are deserving of all the love and compassion each human being is capable of giving and receiving... no less, no more. Ever since my experience in Thailand I will always be keenly aware that trans women are not women. I think in certain situations and settings, if it matters to my health and well-being, then the biological facts should be transparent and truthful, within reason. Trans women have immutable biological characteristics that could compromise the physical safety and well-being of a biological female, whether this be in a competitive athletic environment or a massage parlor. These facts must be acknowledged by the LBGTQ community and the general population so these safety nets can be put in place for biological females. This does not mean I want trans people to be discriminated against or treated unfairly at all, but there are instances when I need to know if the person providing me treatment (or that I’m in close physical contact with) is a biological female or male. That’s what my lived experience has taught me.

I hope this has shed a broader view of what I see, and, perhaps, what many other biological females see. Love, compassion, and facts, supported by current scientific understanding, are the ingredients needed to provide everyone in society with peace of mind, with the understanding that science is always evolving and changing. Let’s be open, let’s listen to each other, and let’s find real world solutions. Blurring the definitions of biological females and trans females is the wrong path for humanity, as I see it, and dangerous for biological females like me, full stop.

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

This is not a story of a single incident, rather an attitude that is becoming so invasive it is eroding the rights of women.

Tracey Holmes (an ABC sports writer) recently quoted a Canadian trans-woman athlete. Unfortunately, I am unable to find the article to cite directly. But this trans-woman compared his experience of transitioning to going through instant menopause. Now, how can a person born a male know what going through menopause feels like?

I am a 48 year old woman, I am currently experiencing peri-menopause. So after 33 years of monthly periods my ovaries no longer expel unfertilised eggs on a regular basis. My natural hormones are fluctuating, the ageing process really kicks in, and eventually that part of my womanhood will stop completely. It is the natural life process of being a woman.

To have this experience belittled by a man who identifies as a woman is insulting. To have Tracey Holmes validate this person by requoting his comment is insulting. To have the ABC (the national public broadcaster) publish this comment is insulting.

It demeans the very essence of what it is to be female. It shows the arrogance and ignorance of this trans-woman. For a man to espouse the experience of menopause, and for the ABC to publish it is astounding.

If men feel the need to change their appearance, to surgically alter their bodies go for it. But they will ever know what it is like to be a woman, and as such should not be invading our spaces... including the menstrual!

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