In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.
This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and supported by LGB Alliance.
Recently I was shopping for a swimsuit at a high end department store. As is often the case these days, a sales assistant is a rare commodity. Unfortunately, the only person available to assist me was (clearly) a trans woman.
Now I consider myself reasonably tolerant, and this person was polite and helpful. I would have been grateful for their assistance if I was purchasing bed linen, homewares or shoes.
But intimate clothing? Not so much.
As a scarfed muslim women, the presence of trans women in women spaces is especially difficult to navigate. Muslims who wear the hijab can only show their hair and other personal features to other women. I usually go to the bathroom to take off my scarf and adjust it. However, as more bathrooms become accessible to anyone regardless of gender, it's increasingly difficult to find a space where I can go to do these things.
The summer I turned 14 my dad took my brother and I on vacation to the beach. We were staying in an oceanfront resort. This was the first time I had ever needed to use tampons (for going in the water). Well we were laying on the beach and I decided I needed to go to the bathroom so I got up and walked back to the resort. Before I went in, I rinsed off the sand from my body with the public shower hose.
I noted that there were two boys behind me, laughing. A few moments after walking away I realized that there was a heavy stream of pink water running down both of my legs. I was immediately terrified. I felt paralyzed. After I realized I just need to keep moving, I looked around for any women resort staff so I could ask for a towel, but none were around. All men. Absolutely mortified, I opened the door to the resort lobby, and walked as fast as I could to the public restrooms. Also, the lobby floor was white tile, as I got to the hallway I looked back and saw a trail of pink water. Again, just so incredibly embarrassed and ashamed and I was disgusted with myself. At that point I just run to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall. It was unfortunately very busy in there. I couldn’t figure out how to take the tampon out. Again, this was one of the first times I had ever used one. So I just stood there, waiting until everyone left so that I could make a run for it without having to look anyone in the eye while I was leaking. I stood in the stall for over an hour. The most embarrassing hour of my life.
And the worst part, the leaking just wouldn’t stop (I had on a pair of Jean shorts on top of my bikini bottoms and the water dripping off from the shorts was mixing with my leaking tampon), and after a while, there had amassed a giant puddle of pink water at my feet. (The white tile really wasn’t helping) I could hear everyone that came in talking about me while washing their hands. I was incredibly embarrassed. Some (kind) women tried to knock on the stall to see if I needed help but I was too embarrassed and just stayed quiet. Eventually I mustered up the courage to run up to our room and wash up.
My point is, if this had been a unisex bathroom I don’t know what I would’ve done. At 14, my whole world was what boys thought of me and I couldn’t imagine having boys or men in the stall next to me or hearing male voices when everyone could see a puddle of pink water at some girls feet. I was already embarrassed enough with the boys behind me laughing as I was rinsing sand off. Please, women’s bathrooms need to be kept female only. No males, no matter the feeling they have about themselves. Females only.
