#toilets

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interests. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Melbourne, Australia by members of the LGB Alliance Australia.

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All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Jul 1
1 min

"gendered violence" now includes women complaining about men in their bathrooms

My Victorian government workplace has updated its list of examples of gendered violence. I see now in that list of examples one describing a transgender male overhearing colleagues complaining about his presence in the women’s workplace toilets. So now, despite the loss of privacy, safety and dignity for the women who have to share toilets with males, those males are the ones who get to complain should a woman not want to compromise her single-sex spaces and share it with

anonymous woman

Jun 21
1 min

scienceworks & immunologist's office bathrooms

Firstly at Scienceworks in Melbourne, their main toilet is unisex so you walk into the bathroom area and line up to wait for the cubicles to be free. On one occasion a few years ago I took my young daughters in and there were people in line, including two men. There was nothing unusual or threatening about these men whatsoever but I felt very uncomfortable and was glad I hadn't sent my daughters in on their own. A couple of years ago I went with my husband to his appointment

anonymous woman

Jun 15
1 min

women's toilets in hospital

Went into a women's toilet in a Sydney hospital. There was a trans woman in there just standing around. I didn't want to leave the cubicle as said person was still lingering by the sink. I was afraid to go and wash my hands. Finally I heard the main door and assumed they had left so I left the cubicle only to find they were still in there just standing around. I skipped washing my hands and left abruptly. #australia #hospital #safety #discomfort #bathrooms #toilets

anonymous woman

May 7
2 min

unisex toilets in library

In the past few months so many places have turned their bathrooms over to "gender neutral" that I have found myself on a number of occasions having to use these unisex toilets. Men and women use toilets differently, it's just a fact. Women generally sit down, men generally stand up. Even the smell of urine is different. The ghastly odor that hits you as you walk into the Unisex toilets at Marrickville library is the first thing you notice - men have splashed everywhere

anonymous woman

Apr 30
1 min

ladies' toilets

Around 2016, the conversation around transwomen in women's spaces really began to pick up. I was told by a colleague that it was ridiculous to think that a pervert/rapist would take this as an opportunity to go into women's toilets and harass women. It wasn't long after this conversation when I was on a night out and went to the women's toilets to find a man in women's clothes. He was a feminine man who was perhaps pre-transition. He came across to me as a friendly gay ma

anonymous woman

Apr 24
2 min

victorian school building authority

I know of three Victorian schools all in metropolitan Melbourne which have felt mislead and or tricked by the Victorian School Building Authority's project management team into building "gender neutral" i.e. mixed-sex toilets. Each of these three schools - in two different school regions - have been told that they must install gender neutral toilets as part of the school upgrades (of varying sizes and budgets), and then told that when they get their certificate of occupancy

anonymous woman

Apr 21
1 min

melbourne bar makes its toilets unisex while asking about women's safety

I recently went out to a bar in Brunswick, Melbourne. Since the last time I was there all the toilets have been made unisex. Whilst I was in line, a male person wearing female clothing joined the line and tried to make small talk with me. I have not experienced this behaviour from other women during previous visits to this venue. I also saw unattended drinks left on the sink. What really made me angry was a sign inside the formerly-female toilet doors saying there has been a

anonymous woman

Apr 14
1 min

ladies' pub bathrooms

I was working behind the bar at a traditional pub and a tall, burly man walked in. He was dressed entirely like any bloke only he had on a skirt on top of his clothes. He asked to use the bathroom politely enough, so I agreed (against our policy I might add) even though he wasn't a customer. Once he got to the bathrooms he turned left to go to the ladies and I shouted after him to turn the other way. He replied he identifies as a woman so he will use the ladies. I said "uh

anonymous woman

Apr 12
1 min

science centre bathrooms

Five years ago, I was taking my four-year old to the women’s bathroom at the children’s science centre. When I arrived, an older man was in the bathroom washing his hands and talking to two unaccompanied girls (it is a kids’ science museum after all). When I entered, he said “Oh, is this the women’s restroom? I must be confused” and left. I watched him recording children playing in the museum on his phone afterwards and notified the staff. I question myself about what I would

anonymous woman

Apr 11
2 min

'TERFS not welcome' stickers in queer pub women's toilets

I first came across the 'TERF' initialism about 10 years ago. It was in the women’s toilets of a queer pub that I was visiting to see a performance (I live in one of the UK’s most progressive and LGBTQ-friendly cities, so it was at the vanguard of trans activism). The initialism was printed on stickers that had been plastered around the inside of the cubicle. The stickers read: 'TERFs not welcome here'. I didn’t know what 'TERF' stood for at the time, but, being where I was

anonymous woman

Apr 9
1 min

escaping sexual assault

When I was nine years old a group of boys chased me and held me down and put their hands down my undies and up my skirt. I don't remember how I got away but I did, and the chase was on again - I remember getting a bloody knee while tripping but I just got back up and kept running to the girls toilet. The reason why those boys (monsters) stopped chasing me was because it was the girls toilets. Can you imagine what would have happened to me if they allowed boys claim to iden

anonymous woman

Apr 9
1 min

self-ID and pub bathrooms

Recently I was out to dinner at a pub with my male partner. There was a quite obviously male person there in a dress and high heels, making them well over 6 feet tall. In itself this wasn't an issue; the issue was that the women's bathroom was a distance away and down a corridor. I was nervous to use it in case this person came in. Like many women I am a survivor of childhood abuse, and the idea of a large man potentially being in my personal space was intimidating to the p

anonymous woman

Apr 7
1 min

women's bathroom in a british pub

The incident I had was when using the toilets in a pub - just an ordinary pub. There were a couple of trans-identified males in the pub where I was drinking. They appeared to be a couple and by the way they were behaving, fetishists. I was playing them at pool at one point and was getting along OK with them. Their behaviour was highly sexualised - one of them would wiggle their PVC clad bottom at the other to distract from taking a shot. In the main area of the pub I f

anonymous woman

Apr 7
1 min

a teacher's perspective on girls in the boys' toilets

I'm a high school teacher. On one occasion, some boys in my form group (aged 15/16) disclosed to me that they felt extremely uncomfortable using the toilets whilst a trans pupil (female identifying as male) was present in them. They were not being derogatory or callous but felt that it was an invasion of their privacy. They said that they avoided using the toilet at break times and had started going during lesson time instead (thus losing out on learning time). They also

anonymous woman

Apr 7
1 min

men's behaviour in women's bathrooms

I have, on a few occasions, gone to use a public toilet and had to share the space with someone who was obviously a man. On both occasions I not only felt uncomfortable but also highly scrutinised by both males. As though my conduct in the toilet should be under a watchful and suspicious eye. Nothing was said but both times I felt not only uncomfortable but also pushed out of my own space. The looks I got were not friendly or apologetic, not even embarrassed, they were

anonymous woman

Apr 6
1 min

bathrooms for female people, regardless of appearance; not feminine people, regardless of sex

I am a woman with polycystic ovarian syndrome. I have hirsutism and have to shave my face and chest daily, as people do not accept a woman with a beard. I do not believe in gender, as I believe it is inherently harmful to all women and girls, intersex people, homosexual and bisexual men. I have been told many times by uninformed people that this means I am either intersex, transgender or nonbinary. I am not. I have been told that I have more "privilege" than transgender wome

anonymous woman

Apr 3
1 min

scarborough beach gender-neutral toilets

At Scarborough Beach in WA there is a long row of gender neutral toilets inside separate cubicles. They aren't sex/gender segregated. I understand this is part of a move to introduce gender neutral facilities to public spaces so as not to offend some people. The problem is that there are no urinals and the toilets are usually covered in urine. They have that stench that only seems to come from men's loos. The local council who got these installed seem to have forgotten tha

anonymous woman

Mar 27
1 min

triggered by men in women's spaces

I have always been pro-women's only spaces. My friend and I went to a public toilet recently and there was a man there. He was wearing make up and a dress and high heels (some people think this is what a woman is). My friend, who is a rape survivor, felt immediately fearful. It was a trigger for her to see a man in a place that is designated for women because we need our privacy. I felt very uncomfortable as well because he was looking at us and looked angry. He was tall

anonymous woman

Mar 23
1 min

the importance of women's bathrooms to survivors of male violence

I went to a new-ish cinema in Manchester before COVID-19 and lockdown. I was recovering from an operation on my foot and leg, so walking and standing was very painful. I went to use the women's toilets but discovered that downstairs, where I was sitting, there were only men's toilets and 'gender neutral'. I had to wander round trying to find somebody to ask where the women's toilets were, only to be told I could use the gender neutral ones or walk up a flight of stairs to th

anonymous woman

Mar 14
1 min

toilets: boys, and other

I went for Grandparents day at my grandkids' school. There were no girls toilets, just boys and unisex. I had the displeasure of having to clean all the urine off the seat before I could use it. Unisex means men and women all can use the same bathroom. Everyone knows how people with male genitalia have very poor aim, especially young boys (are we still allowed to call them boys?). There is no consideration in these instances. People with penises mostly stand to pee, wom