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No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and supported by LGB Alliance.

  • @ConflictSaid

While working in community care, I dressed a transgender man's wound at his townhouse. I always had to go alone. The wound was on his back, right where your shirt and pants meet, but he was always more naked than necessary. When I arrived at his house, he was always wearing just a dressing gown, and the dressing gown was always open at the front. His dressing gown had to be pulled sideways so I could dress the wound which left his bum exposed when it didn't need to be. It was obvious he enjoyed having me see his surgically altered genitals when I didn't need to see them. Some trans widows say their transgender partners have a gleam in their eye. I also noticed that this man has that gleam in his eyes.

He had awards in his townhouse for women's sports competitions that he had won. He would point them out and emphasise they were women's events. He found that amusing.

I have seen him in public. He is aged in his fifties but wears very short skirts. Young women often wear short skirts, but older women have usually outgrown that. When he is dressed like this in public, he appears elated but the family member he is with appears very embarrassed. It’s sad that he doesn’t care if his family are embarrassed, although I have noticed some family members find his way of being amusing.

I wanted to tell my employer that I didn’t feel comfortable seeing this man alone and that I thought his behaviour was concerning, but while working for this company, a pro-gay marriage nurse said she wanted to produce a pamphlet about STDs homosexual men are prone to so we can educate our homosexual clients on how to protect themselves. The staff at that meeting, who had always seemed to be good friends with her, shouted her down.

The staff member who wanted to produce the leaflet was also one rung above the staff members who shouted her down. That doubly surprised me because with other issues, when you disagree with someone who is superior to you in the company, you tell them tactfully and with lots of respect, and if you can't change their mind, you just do what they say, keeping your reservations to yourself.

Another incident that stopped me from speaking up is one time I told a staff member that she needed to bring more dressings with her because he was running out. She said, “SHE. ” This transgender man has sewn-on breasts and a fake vagina but still looks, walks and talks like a man. When a transgender man still looks like a man, it’s hard to remember to use female pronouns.

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

A revered, well-known trans ‘woman’; & often engaged public speaker on topics of gender and LGB health, made what I consider to be inappropriate (and high-risk behaviour) remarks online; which I called out. To then be, through my own actions labelled a TERF.

In the PVAW* field in which I have worked for over 35 years, I came under fire and wore the brunt of this label causing me great distress. (Since quit my job)

The Incident.

During Covid lockdown #1 in Naarm/Melbourne, this person stated on social media, that the two male dates that had been lined up that night, for sex, had cancelled due to their wives finding out. This trans woman (and social media friends) thought it was hilarious.

I felt compelled to remark, on the social media post that this behaviour was: disrespectful to these men’s wives, high risk during a Covid lockdown and the behaviour was exactly the type of stereotypical promiscuous behaviour of men (as opposed to women - referring to this person’s gender identity). The type of behaviours women have been fighting to challenge forever.

Needless to say, what transpired after this was not only this person’s wrath but then to be regarded by colleagues (those who knew) as a ‘transphobe’. Gender critical discussions are taboo in the PVAW and gender equity workforces. (* PVAW stands for Preventing Violence Against Women) #Melbourne #FreeSpeech #Misogyny

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I have a male friend who, since a relationship breakdown, has taken to performing drag.

This was initially just a performance thing, but he's recently taken to dressing up frequently and for general social gatherings. When in drag, he wants to be called a female name and uses the women's toilets. Our other friends seem perfectly okay with this, but I am not. In fact, some of them vocally champion him and deride anyone who speaks up. I've distanced myself from them as a group, but it makes me sad that I've lost a group of friends.

Furthermore, he got 'harassed' by a man when he was in drag, so he's gone on to be a spokesman for 'women being harassed by men. It is sad that he was harassed, but that does not make him eligible to speak about women being harassed.

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