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No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and Speak Up for Women, supported by LGB Alliance.

  • @ConflictSaid
  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I have a history of depression and mental illness. I am afraid to speak to mental health professionals now because if I were to need inpatient therapy, there would be TIMs [trans-identified males] housed in the female areas. I have experienced sexual trauma in the past and my worst nightmare is being locked involuntarily in a room with a male. I no longer feel safe seeking crisis mental health support because if I get put on a mental health hold, my roommate might be male and I wouldn't even be allowed to leave until the psych cleared me to leave.

I am also afraid to get pap smears and other gynecological care because if I request a female doctor or at least a female nurse be present during the exam, the hospital is allowed to give me any male who identifies as female. My PTSD knows the difference between male and female, it's not possible to convince my flight-or-fight response that the obviously male nurse is a female just because they're wearing feminine clothing. I'm at an age where I should be getting regular pap smears but I can't because having that procedure done with only males in the room would trigger my PTSD too much.

#canada #healthcare #mentalhealth #trust #mistrust #doctors #trauma #SelfID #singlesexspaces

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

The ladies room at Yahava Coffee in Swan Valley, WA is no more. Now there are 3 separate all-gender inclusive toilets.

Last time I was there I needed to go, and as I waited a man walked out of the bathroom. The seat was down and urine was sprayed all over it.

I walked out revolted and waited for another toilet. Two more men vacated the two remaining toilets, so I ducked into the next one from the left and again, toilet seat down and more urine!

The last one was the same.

I hovered while gagging, as I really had to go.

I can’t explain exactly, but I felt so upset by this. The toilets there before this were neat and tidy.

What actual women benefit from this change?

Our places and privacy are being eroded. Women have periods, they need clean toilets and some dignity and privacy.

I will never go back there again.

#australia #bathrooms #toilets #dirty #mixedsex #genderneutral #singlesexspaces

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I was at one time an 'emerging new talent on the scene' who my small-town arts scene had taken notice of. I had peers and colleagues that were supportive and fun. The AGP [autogynophile] in my friendship circle became very close to me and he made himself into my mentor, but he would turn on me in the most vindictive and nearly violent way the one night I asserted my boundaries with him. He almost assaulted me before I begged him to calm down.

His suddenly hysterical response seemed way out of control for what had truly been a simple, respectful act of self-assertion by myself. I was scared and left.

He then made it his mission to destroy my once blossoming career with lies, sabotages, and threats. He also threatened to blacklist anyone for even allowing me to be included socially. As a trauma survivor (of which I had even shared with this person, so he knew), I relied heavily on my then-friendships for a sense of family. I readily forgave those who apologised to me in secret for not being able to do more because I knew how traumatic it felt to have this ex-friend turn on you, but I would become entirely psychologically destroyed, eventually.

When we were friends, I was privy to the knowledge that this friend was very open about the fact that his cross-dressing was purely sexual. He was late in losing his virginity and stole clothes from his sister. He was open about telling me about his bedroom mirror sex acts, and absolutely none of our friends ever judged him for it either, and he was so unafraid of telling everybody about it.

It was such a small act of personal boundary setting that caused his insane vendetta against me that nobody believed my side could be true. They were not satisfied until I was labelled a crazy liar, publicly humiliated and even openly abused by some in what had once been my vocational career path.

Now this man has embraced his fetish wholly under the pretence of identifying as trans. He is literally cleaning up awards and doing interviews without a care in the world. He calls himself a feminist. Receives funding support for everything and his career has utterly exploded after claiming to experience so-called gender identity disorder.

I had to undergo and pay for extensive trauma and post-traumatic stress counselling. I gave up on my dreams.

At one time i was referred to as 'promising'.

#australia #arts #artscommunity #AGP #sexualfetishism #bullying #ostracism #transactivism #malecontrol #maleretaliation #shortlistedspots #selfID

organizations working to protect women-only spaces

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