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No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and supported by LGB Alliance.

  • @ConflictSaid
  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

The ladies room at Yahava Coffee in Swan Valley, WA is no more. Now there are 3 separate all-gender inclusive toilets.

Last time I was there I needed to go, and as I waited a man walked out of the bathroom. The seat was down and urine was sprayed all over it.

I walked out revolted and waited for another toilet. Two more men vacated the two remaining toilets, so I ducked into the next one from the left and again, toilet seat down and more urine!

The last one was the same.

I hovered while gagging, as I really had to go.

I can’t explain exactly, but I felt so upset by this. The toilets there before this were neat and tidy.

What actual women benefit from this change?

Our places and privacy are being eroded. Women have periods, they need clean toilets and some dignity and privacy.

I will never go back there again.

  • Writer's pictureanonymous woman

I was at one time an 'emerging new talent on the scene' who my small-town arts scene had taken notice of. I had peers and colleagues that were supportive and fun. The AGP [autogynophile] in my friendship circle became very close to me and he made himself into my mentor, but he would turn on me in the most vindictive and nearly violent way the one night I asserted my boundaries with him. He almost assaulted me before I begged him to calm down.

His suddenly hysterical response seemed way out of control for what had truly been a simple, respectful act of self-assertion by myself. I was scared and left.

He then made it his mission to destroy my once blossoming career with lies, sabotages, and threats. He also threatened to blacklist anyone for even allowing me to be included socially. As a trauma survivor (of which I had even shared with this person, so he knew), I relied heavily on my then-friendships for a sense of family. I readily forgave those who apologised to me in secret for not being able to do more because I knew how traumatic it felt to have this ex-friend turn on you, but I would become entirely psychologically destroyed, eventually.

When we were friends, I was privy to the knowledge that this friend was very open about the fact that his cross-dressing was purely sexual. He was late in losing his virginity and stole clothes from his sister. He was open about telling me about his bedroom mirror sex acts, and absolutely none of our friends ever judged him for it either, and he was so unafraid of telling everybody about it.

It was such a small act of personal boundary setting that caused his insane vendetta against me that nobody believed my side could be true. They were not satisfied until I was labelled a crazy liar, publicly humiliated and even openly abused by some in what had once been my vocational career path.

Now this man has embraced his fetish wholly under the pretence of identifying as trans. He is literally cleaning up awards and doing interviews without a care in the world. He calls himself a feminist. Receives funding support for everything and his career has utterly exploded after claiming to experience so-called gender identity disorder.

I had to undergo and pay for extensive trauma and post-traumatic stress counselling. I gave up on my dreams.

At one time i was referred to as 'promising'.

I've worked in the charitable sector for years and it's a sector almost entirely full of women workers and run by women. Used to have a strong old fashioned feminist sensibility. This was a big reason I chose to work there.

Over past 5-10 years I have seen this sector which works with the most vulnerable people totally consumed by gender ideology with no debate. Everyone is expected to introduce themselves with their pronouns, every website has to show a transactivist flag, every program or presentation meant for women has to be for "gender diverse" people too or "for anyone who identifies as a woman". (For heaven's sake, I got invited to a boring old session on building women's financial literacy which anxiously promoted itself as being for "trans and gender diverse people" too - is there not enough female poverty to be going on with?)

There seems to be an unspoken fear that doing or even saying anything that's just about women is morally wrong and makes you a wicked person ("exclusive"). Incredibly distressing seeing otherwise good charities actively pushing gender ideology at their clients, especially kids. (Check out websites of youth mental health charities some time.) And many clients too confused or unconfident to question it.

Hardest thing for me is coming to terms with the fact that however patriarchal this ideology is, here it is almost entirely women who are leading and enabling it. In my experience, mostly women from the upper management or else very ambitious (and very indoctrinated) young professional women. Lower level workers and clients just have to cop it.

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