#Australia

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and Speak Up for Women, supported by LGB Alliance.

Tell us your story

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All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

May 11, 2021
1 min

using trans identity to control victims

I started a new sport a few years ago, taking up martial arts gym membership. There I struck up a friendship with the gym's top fighter. This guy had won lots of fights & seemed eager to support my new learning endeavour. He was a typical athlete in presentation, hegemonic & hyper masculine. The relationship quickly moved from friendship to romantic. One day he intentionally punched me & I started crying asking " why"? He said it was because he was frustrated due to his

anonymous woman

May 10, 2021
1 min

woman as the emotional support human, including for transwomen

I've noticed that some younger and older women seem to spend a considerable amount of their emotional resources, particularly online, encouraging and validating transwomen's sense being a "a pretty, attractive woman" as they might a female friend if that friend wanted or needed such validation or assurance. Yet, it's much more than basic encouragement. It's almost as if these women have fallen into a default supportive role of supporting transwomen being 'real women' via a f

anonymous woman

May 8, 2021
1 min

lesbian social support groups

About 15 years ago, before the current trans politics became so powerful, I came out as a lesbian and attended several organised social gatherings and support groups. Already there were trans-identified males turning up and taking part as "lesbians" and no one said anything, I think because women are so socialised to be nice. The males' behaviour was mostly ok, but just having them there made me uncomfortable and changed the vibe, it just wasn't a lesbian group any more. One

anonymous woman

May 8, 2021
2 min

unisex toilets in library

In the past few months so many places have turned their bathrooms over to "gender neutral" that I have found myself on a number of occasions having to use these unisex toilets. Men and women use toilets differently, it's just a fact. Women generally sit down, men generally stand up. Even the smell of urine is different. The ghastly odor that hits you as you walk into the Unisex toilets at Marrickville library is the first thing you notice - men have splashed everywhere

anonymous woman

May 7, 2021
1 min

if a man follows you into the bathroom, don't worry! he knows his gender identity better than you

a teenage girl in melbourne was followed into a toilet block and raped by a 45 year-old man, according to this news report. activists for gender identity campaign for women to not ask questions when they see men in their bathrooms. see e.g. this and this. #australia #melbourne #rape #sexualassault #safety #maleviolence

anonymous woman

May 6, 2021
1 min

international women's day events

This year, I didn't feel safe going to the International Women’s Day festival in my area, because a trans-identified man was on a panel, so I didn't go. It is hard enough that men are taking limited positions on panels at women's day events, assuming the right to not only participate but to lead discussions about women's issues. It is frustrating to watch that happen, and to see other women supporting it rather than standing up against it. But this event was even worse, be

anonymous woman

May 4, 2021
1 min

coegee rockpool baths

The Coogee Rockpool women's baths have existed for many decades. They offer women-only change rooms, sunning areas and a rockpool entirely used by women, but because it is run by the Coogee Council it is now threatened by being open to transwomen. That would stop many elderly, non-western, disabled etc. women using this pool. I certainly would no longer use that unique facility, as an elderly female-born human being. I am extremely angry, because there is no media or any oth

anonymous woman

Apr 24, 2021
2 min

victorian school building authority

I know of three Victorian schools all in metropolitan Melbourne which have felt mislead and or tricked by the Victorian School Building Authority's project management team into building "gender neutral" i.e. mixed-sex toilets. Each of these three schools - in two different school regions - have been told that they must install gender neutral toilets as part of the school upgrades (of varying sizes and budgets), and then told that when they get their certificate of occupancy

anonymous woman

Apr 24, 2021
2 min

requesting a woman lawyer in a community legal centre

For many years now a lawyer who identifies as a woman has been working in community legal services in northern regional Victoria. This person seems well regarded by local magistrates' court staff and magistrates, and is an affable, pleasant individual. In various meeting with the local court that I witnessed, this individual struggles to hide his sex as he is a chronic mansplainer. But every one smiles and calls him 'she' and by his chosen name. The thing that worries me m

anonymous woman

Apr 22, 2021
2 min

women's facebook groups

I can no longer trust that a women's Facebook group, or a women's interests group, is all women, or that the topic won't get derailed by mods insisting on 'inclusion' of trans-identified men in the group or constantly referencing their issues. I didn't previously think trans-identified women caused problems in these spaces, as they tend to be lower profile (funny that), but increasingly there is insistence that we as women have to remember that 'not everyone who has a period

anonymous woman

Apr 21, 2021
1 min

melbourne bar makes its toilets unisex while asking about women's safety

I recently went out to a bar in Brunswick, Melbourne. Since the last time I was there all the toilets have been made unisex. Whilst I was in line, a male person wearing female clothing joined the line and tried to make small talk with me. I have not experienced this behaviour from other women during previous visits to this venue. I also saw unattended drinks left on the sink. What really made me angry was a sign inside the formerly-female toilet doors saying there has been a

anonymous woman

Apr 17, 2021
1 min

non-man-identifying prizes for fiction writing

The UK's 'Women's prize for fiction' is open to anyone who 'identifies' as a woman, as is the Stella Prize in Australia. I'm not sure if this is for political or legal reasons. These prizes are meant to give women an opportunity to get income and publicity in a male-dominated culture and industry. Affirmative action literally cannot work for women if males can simply 'identify' themselves into such opportunities. Why are women being abused for objecting to this? (Currently

anonymous woman

Apr 16, 2021
2 min

intimate care in hospital

For background, I have cancer and therefore have extensive experience being a patient in public and private hospitals. In 2020 I was admitted to the Acute Medial Unit at Royal Melbourne Hospital due to an extreme allergic reaction to an anti-epileptic drug that caused me to break out in hives and a horrible rash all over my body. And I mean all over. I had two female doctors have to come in (one supervising the other because of the intimate nature of the examination) and ins

anonymous woman

Apr 15, 2021
1 min

denying the mantra in a counselling session

I told my psychologist that I don’t believe men can be women if they say so and I need single sex spaces. She knew I had experienced trauma related to male violence. She used the entire session to argue about this with me. I told her I do not believe 'identifying' and 'being' are the same thing. She kept saying ‘trans women are women’. I asked how, and she kept repeating that same thing. I should have walked out. Up until that exchange she had been great. When she left, no ps

anonymous woman

Apr 15, 2021
1 min

women's dance at chillout festival

It was advertised as a women’s dance. Being a Chillout (2019) event we thought it reasonable to expect mostly, if not all, lesbians at the dance. There were 4 individuals present who were clearly males trying to present themselves as women. It just spoilt the entire vibe. To top it off, of course they used the women’s toilet. We live in country Victoria and there is so little social stuff for lesbians. When we queried the presence of these trans-identified males (TIMs) at a

anonymous woman

Apr 14, 2021
1 min

women's golf competition

There is a transgender person who is a male during the week at work but a 'female' in the weekend, and therefore wants to play in the women’s competition and use the women's dressing rooms. It's hardly fair but the private golf club doesn't want to make a fuss about it. #australia #golf #womenssports #genderfluid #mixedsex

anonymous woman

Apr 14, 2021
1 min

mixed-sex hospital wards

I have been admitted into public hospital and had to share a room with a male each time. It was extremely uncomfortable, particularly when the doctors were discussing personal physical issues easily overheard by the other patient. Going to the bathroom while managing a drip machine and keeping the hospital garment closed in the back was difficult. Going into a heavy drug induced sleep in a room with an unknown ambulatory male is very stressful. #australia #hospital #mixedsex

anonymous woman

Apr 13, 2021
1 min

male brings claim against order of nuns running a domestic violence shelter

The current state of affairs has been in the making for some decades. About 20 years ago I acted pro bono for an Order of nuns who ran, among other charitable programs, a refuge for women and children who had been forced to leave their homes due to domestic violence. A claim was brought against the Order by a trans person, of quite notable size and stature, because they had been refused a place in the refuge. The accomodation provided for the women and children at that time c

anonymous woman

Apr 13, 2021
2 min

group therapy for women who have experienced male violence

I run group therapy for women who have experienced gendered violence such as domestic violence, rape and sexual abuse, where the perpetrators are more often than not male (and 100% male in the clients I have worked with). I am very concerned about the mental health and triggering of PTSD symptoms in these women by allowing trans women who have not fully transitioned or are evidently not female in appearance into the group, because of the triggering effect this may have on

anonymous woman

Apr 13, 2021
1 min

pronouns in the email signature

I have been seeing a somatic therapist regularly for about 5 years and noticed that she has recently included the "she/her" pronouns in her email signature. I have been seeing this therapist for reasons that involve my biology as a female and my lived experience of this, and now feel uncomfortable to speak with her about my experiences as a woman. #australia #counselling #somatictherapy #pronouns #signalling #trust #body

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand

Speak Up for Women

Lesbian Action for Visibility in Aotearoa

LGB Alliance Aotearoa New Zealand

Suffragettes NZ

Mana Wāhine Kōrero

WDI Australia and New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom

LGB Alliance UK

Sex Matters

Scottish Labour Women's Declaration

Standing for Women

Stats for Sex Segregation

Women are human

Women's Rights Network

women politicians speaking up for women-only spaces

Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

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organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand ​

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Womens Liberation Aotearoa .nz/

Australia ​​ Save Women's Sports Australasia ​ The Coalition for Biological Reality ​ LGB Defence ​ IWD Brisbane/Meanjin ​ The Victorian Women's Guild ​ Fair Go For Queensland Women Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom​

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Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom