#unitedkingdom

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand and the UK by members of the LGB Alliance and Speak Up for Women.

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to be redirected to a secure submission form.

All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Mar 4, 2021
3 min

enhanced opportunities for trans-identified males in theatre

I am a working class black playwright and theatre director. I fully support trans rights and have deep sympathy for people who suffer the pain of gender dysphoria. However, it is to me absolutely undeniable that the trans rights movement is completely phallocentric and gynophobic, hypocritical in the double standards of how transwomen and transmen are treated, and aimed at boosting anyone with a penis and oppressing anyone with a vagina. I have been working as a playwrigh

anonymous woman

Mar 4, 2021
1 min

student union toilets

Our Student Union's Toilets were converted to Unisex out of the blue. I was not aware until I needed to use them one night. I felt incredibly uncomfortable and afraid with drunk men stumbling around whilst I tried to find a stall. I have PTSD from sexual assault and felt incredibly distressed taking down my clothes. I never used the bathrooms again. #unitedkingdom #universitycampus #studentunion #toilets #bathrooms #ptsd #survivors

anonymous woman

Mar 2, 2021
1 min

women's bathrooms as a public place to escape violent men and seek help

I was groomed into the sex industry and later trafficked. While being kept hostage by a violent man, the only place I could escape to was the female toilets. Female toilets enabled me to call for help. If the same scenario were repeated today, he would only have to declare himself a woman to walk in after me. Abusive men don’t have the boundaries or sense of shame normal people have - I know without a shadow of doubt that abusive men like him really would really would take

anonymous woman

Mar 2, 2021
1 min

marks and spencers changing rooms

I can no longer try on clothes in Marks and Spencers because they allow men into the women’s changing room. I won’t use it because it feels very unsafe if a man is in there too. I have to buy the clothes and take them home to try on and take them back if they don’t fit. I also feel intimidated by the mixed changing rooms at my local swimming pool, which used to be single sex. Whilst there are a few private cubicles you still have men close by invading womens' and girls' priva

anonymous woman

Mar 1, 2021
2 min

mansplaining sexism in academia

I have a true story about how endeavors aimed at offsetting the injustice and discrimination faced by women in the workplace are used to reinforce them and put women back in their subordinate place with the help of gender identity ideology. A few years ago, a non-academic member of staff at my uni transitioned to become a "woman" (in their own words, not a transwoman, but a woman). They -- let's call them R -- were about 50 years old, heterosexual, married, male-presenting f

anonymous woman

Feb 28, 2021
3 min

women's meditation retreat

I went on a women's meditation retreat at a women's Buddhist retreat centre. A women's retreat is expected to be a safe space for women, and a lot of women who go on retreat are trying to heal from something. One of the team leading the retreat - the person who was doing the organization (rather than teaching or leading meditation) was a big very tall middle-aged person with an Adam's apple, big hands, and a man's voice - wearing a dress. This didn't bother me at first,

anonymous woman

Feb 28, 2021
2 min

women's pond, hamstead heath

This is about the Women's Pond in Hampstead Heath, in London, England. There is a women's pond, a men's pond and a mixed pond. For a while now, the women's pond has been opened up to anyone claiming he identifies as a woman. The women's pond is a peaceful haven for many women. There are open showers there. I have become aware that there are countries in Europe and Scandinavia which have illegalised flashing in women's changing areas. This refers to a recent phenome

anonymous woman

Feb 28, 2021
1 min

funding for women in the music industry

Funding destined specifically for women can be applied for from the Performing Rights Foundation in the UK. It is available to redress the historical and current imbalance - especially in relation to composers. Female composers are hardly programmed into classical concerts, or played on the radio. Recordings of their music are hardly available in CD stores. The imbalance is phenomenal. As a composer, when I respond to calls for works or submit works for competitions

anonymous woman

Feb 28, 2021
1 min

premenstrual dysphoric disorder support group

In our online support group for sufferers of pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, a woman was posting a lot about her sex life, struggles with complex mental health issues, and talking about killing herself because she was suffering so severely from PMDD. She listed all the ways the medical profession were letting her down. She monopolised the conversation and elicited hours of support time from many, many women in the group. Turns out she was a man. Men don't have periods. Sh

anonymous woman

Feb 26, 2021
2 min

swimming pool changing room

Took my girls, then aged 8 and 10, swimming in Hereford Pool; the changing rooms had been changed to unisex. While looking for a cubicle big enough for all three of us to change in I accidentally made eye contact with an old (white haired) man. I found the way he looked at us creepy and hurried the children into a cubicle. The changing cubicles had gaps (top and bottom) so I was anxious about camera phone voyeurism whilst we got changed. There is a poolside spectator area w

anonymous woman

Feb 25, 2021
1 min

service station toilets

Couple of years ago my mother and I used the ladies' loos at a motorway services in south wales. They were really busy - the queue was nearly out the door. In the midst of the bustle was a transwoman - clearly biologically male about 6'2, in his late 40s maybe early 50s with very broad shoulders, short blonde hair, wearing a skinnyfit pink tshirt, lipstick and jeans. From the queue I could see he was not waiting in line to use the loos but was standing outside cubicles waiti

anonymous woman

Feb 25, 2021
2 min

women's narcotics anonymous meeting

I was asked to chair a women’s narcotics anonymous (NA) meeting. NA is a not-for-profit organisation run by its members to support people who are re-building their lives after addiction from substance and alcohol abuse. The NA women’s meetings are held to provide a safe space for women who have often suffered trauma and hard life experiences to share and find recovery. Mixed meetings can often be dominated by men who are confident to speak more and sometimes hit on female mem

anonymous woman

Feb 25, 2021
1 min

verbal abuse in bathroom

As someone who 5 years ago was attacked and sexually assaulted by a stranger (male) whilst alone, it changed me greatly, in that I no longer feel safe without a friend accompanying me. Until recently I was okay sharing/using spaces with trans women (Heck one of my friends is a trans woman, albeit post-op and up until 2 years ago I would have been on the side of the activists saying that they aren't a threat). That is until I had a rather badly passing trans woman, possibly tr

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

swimming pool

Attended a female-only swimming session in a small pool in the Midlands. It was supervised by a young female lifeguard. There were three of us in the pool - myself and another female, and a person who was obviously male. The lifeguard said she was powerless to ask him to leave because of the Gender Recognition Act. She said she could not even remind him it was a female-only session as she might cause him offence. The other woman and I carried on swimming. He then began gettin

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

domestic violence services

In Brighton & Hove the centre providing services to female victims of domestic violence has been deemed as being not inclusive enough and had its funding withdrawn. The centre had actually started providing services to trans women yet this was not considered inclusive enough. As a victim of extreme male violence in the past (resulting in several weeks in the hospital, extensive surgery and numerous metal plates needed to hold my face together), just the sound of a man's voic

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

lesbian dating

Over the past few years, online lesbian groups have started to adopt the 'inclusive' agenda. Meaning that lesbian groups are no longer women-only spaces. If you ask if men are permitted into the group, if they claim they are women, you are called a TERF and excluded. Actual lesbians excluded from lesbian spaces for asking this question! A similar thing has happened to online lesbian dating sites. Now if a male 'identifies' as female, and claims they are a lesbian, they are p

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

public toilets

Since shaving my head I keep being harassed by people calling me a man and telling me to leave. I blame the rise of transgenderism for these attitudes and demand that something be done. #unitedkingdom #publictoilets #bathrooms

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

narcotics anonymous meeting

I go to a women-only Narcotics Anonymous meeting. I found it really uncomfortable to share something I am going through which affects women only. What is meant to be a safe space for woman doesn't feel safe anymore. [*Moderator’s note: there seems to be a missing line here, that a male person started attending these meetings? If this is your submission and you want to edit it, please send me an email]. #unitedkingdom #england #narcoticsanonymous #womensmeeting #safespace

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

gym changing rooms

I was changing in my gym's changing room (ladies' one) and saw what looked like a woman with short hair coming out of a cubicle. I was in a state of nearly full undress . S/he turned and it was actually a man--probably a trans person, but male-bodied nonetheless. I froze on the spot, he smiled, but then realised I was quite shocked... so turned and left. I am no pushover and am quite used to communal spaces, but not with males... and felt immensely distressed and intimida

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

gender-neutral toilets in student union

In my local student union the doors were kicked off all but two of the previously ladies’ toilet cubicles and of the two with doors one had no lock but a seat and the other no seat but a lock. This only happened after converting to gender-neutral toilets with cubicles and there were always males in there, often gay males but with a severe dislike of women. I now have to use the disabled toilet if I want privacy but lots of males are using it too because they don’t like young