#unitedkingdom

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interests. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Melbourne, Australia by members of the LGB Alliance Australia.

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All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Jun 30
2 min

rape & the 'sex by deception' offence

The following is an excerpt from Julie Bindel's piece 'When Is A Rape Not A Rape?' in the July 2021 issue of The Critic. Full article here. Josie* (not her real name) is a university student in England who was raped in early 2018. Last year Josie’s mother Elsie* contacted me to ask for advice and support following the collapse of her daughter’s rape trial. During a night out with some female friends, Josie, a lesbian, started chatting to Marsha* who later joined the group

anonymous woman

Jun 4
1 min

man in hampstead women's pond

Today I went to the Women's Pond in Hampstead, London, UK. After my swim, as I was getting my bike, I noticed a middle-aged, long-haired, massively beer-gutted man walk out from the pond looking very pleased with himself. My overwhelming feeling was one of not being safe. The changing rooms are shut and women change in the open. I didn't know where he had been, or what he had been seeing. He didn't look as if he had been swimming. #unitedkingdom #hamsteadheath #womenspond #

anonymous woman

Apr 30
1 min

ladies' toilets

Around 2016, the conversation around transwomen in women's spaces really began to pick up. I was told by a colleague that it was ridiculous to think that a pervert/rapist would take this as an opportunity to go into women's toilets and harass women. It wasn't long after this conversation when I was on a night out and went to the women's toilets to find a man in women's clothes. He was a feminine man who was perhaps pre-transition. He came across to me as a friendly gay ma

anonymous woman

Apr 17
1 min

non-man-identifying prizes for fiction writing

The UK's 'Women's prize for fiction' is open to anyone who 'identifies' as a woman, as is the Stella Prize in Australia. I'm not sure if this is for political or legal reasons. These prizes are meant to give women an opportunity to get income and publicity in a male-dominated culture and industry. Affirmative action literally cannot work for women if males can simply 'identify' themselves into such opportunities. Why are women being abused for objecting to this? (Currently

anonymous woman

Apr 17
2 min

discussing sex & dating with gender identity activists

I have been really sympathetic towards the experiences of transgender people and as supportive as anyone can be; a member of my own family is struggling with gender identity issues. I wish nobody any harm, but things are heading somewhere that I am very uncomfortable about, and women-only spaces (which in certain situations, are entirely appropriate) and a woman's right to even decide who and what she is attracted to is being made out to be hateful. This cannot be right and

anonymous woman

Apr 14
1 min

ladies' pub bathrooms

I was working behind the bar at a traditional pub and a tall, burly man walked in. He was dressed entirely like any bloke only he had on a skirt on top of his clothes. He asked to use the bathroom politely enough, so I agreed (against our policy I might add) even though he wasn't a customer. Once he got to the bathrooms he turned left to go to the ladies and I shouted after him to turn the other way. He replied he identifies as a woman so he will use the ladies. I said "uh

anonymous woman

Apr 11
2 min

'TERFS not welcome' stickers in queer pub women's toilets

I first came across the 'TERF' initialism about 10 years ago. It was in the women’s toilets of a queer pub that I was visiting to see a performance (I live in one of the UK’s most progressive and LGBTQ-friendly cities, so it was at the vanguard of trans activism). The initialism was printed on stickers that had been plastered around the inside of the cubicle. The stickers read: 'TERFs not welcome here'. I didn’t know what 'TERF' stood for at the time, but, being where I was

anonymous woman

Apr 11
2 min

off the scale agression for agreeing with jk rowling

Last summer, at the height of the vicious JK Rowling witch-hunt, our street had a party. Those few of us left at sundown were invited into a neighbouring garden to continue chatting around a fire by the two twenty-something-year-old men who occupied the house. One was a little effeminate (I’ll call him Mr X) and I thought he may be gay, although they were clearly housemates, not a couple. We were all getting on very well and the atmosphere was fun, until my husband brought

anonymous woman

Apr 7
1 min

women's bathroom in a british pub

The incident I had was when using the toilets in a pub - just an ordinary pub. There were a couple of trans-identified males in the pub where I was drinking. They appeared to be a couple and by the way they were behaving, fetishists. I was playing them at pool at one point and was getting along OK with them. Their behaviour was highly sexualised - one of them would wiggle their PVC clad bottom at the other to distract from taking a shot. In the main area of the pub I f

anonymous woman

Apr 7
2 min

women's self-defence event

I organised a women's self-defence event a few years ago. On the day of the event several young women of university age attended. They all had slight/slim builds (this makes sense as these women are likely to feel even more vulnerable to violence from larger males and so would seek self defence training). Two transwomen also attended, wearing very inappropriate clothing for a sports-type event (skirt, dress, dolly/ballerina type flat shoes). They both had a large build a

anonymous woman

Apr 7
1 min

a teacher's perspective on girls in the boys' toilets

I'm a high school teacher. On one occasion, some boys in my form group (aged 15/16) disclosed to me that they felt extremely uncomfortable using the toilets whilst a trans pupil (female identifying as male) was present in them. They were not being derogatory or callous but felt that it was an invasion of their privacy. They said that they avoided using the toilet at break times and had started going during lesson time instead (thus losing out on learning time). They also

anonymous woman

Apr 7
4 min

male exhibitionism in the women's changing rooms

During my late 20s I started romantically seeing a woman who had a son that after graduating from an Oxbridge university had a mental breakdown and began identifying as a woman. Three main things ensued: 1) he began also identifying as disabled, taking up a spot on Google’s free coding courses reserved for disabled people, 2) began chasing his mum round the house, hitting her and spitting at her when he felt like it, and 3) started wearing his mother's and younger sister

anonymous woman

Apr 6
2 min

the new trans activism triggering childhood sexual abuse trauma

Becoming aware of gender ideology and the activities of trans activists has triggered feelings linked to my experience of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). I have not felt these feelings so strongly for many years but the sexual objectification of women by AGP men, the threats, silencing, and gaslighting are all very evocative of that earlier experience and have raised my anxiety levels considerably. This in turn has caused a relapse of my physical health as I also live with chro

anonymous woman

Apr 4
1 min

chilling effect on speech in local authority

I work for a local authority that has Stonewall affiliation. Earlier last year the Woman’s Network was established and I joined, becoming a founding member. The loal authority celebrated Pride, trans awareness week, and trans Remembrance Day, but totally ignored Violence Against Women and Girls day, opting to raise awareness on domestic violence - which was not a bad thing, but referred to men & women. The network is open to all women including trans. Every issue that we dea

anonymous woman

Apr 4
1 min

rape in a gender-neutral bathroom

This is from a few years ago. There's a club in my home town that only has gender-neutral toilets. One night in there when I'd gone to see a gig, a man cornered me in one of the rows of cubicles, put his face right up close to mine, and said 'I'm gonna rape you so hard'. He then laughed and walked off. A couple of weeks later a woman was raped in these toilets in the same club, leading to the club being closed down for a while. The crazy thing is that the toilets did have a

anonymous woman

Apr 4
3 min

lesbian bar in london

There is one remaining lesbian bar in London, called ‘She’ bar. The decor is about as imaginative as the name, with it resembling something of the inside a shipping container. But it’s all we have, so it’s where everyone goes. It’s underground, down a flight of stairs leading from a busy Soho street. Little signage outside means most people would likely walk by without knowing of its existence. The point, I suspect, is probably to be nondescript and discrete, so that lesbian

anonymous woman

Apr 2
1 min

lesbian nightclub

I went to a lesbian night club in Soho with my date (a woman). It felt really good to be able to be ourselves and not feel self conscious about expressing our sexuality and affection for one another. Occasionally, my date and I would kiss but I noticed that every time we kissed a transwoman was staring at us. “She” wasn’t talking to or interacting with anyone. “She” was just sitting alone in the middle of floor while we (women) were dancing and making out. I stopped ki

anonymous woman

Mar 31
1 min

sexual assault in a de facto mixed-sex bathroom

Several years ago I used to go to lesbian/gay bars quite a lot. At the time, in the city I lived in there was an accepted norm in gay venues that people of either sex could use either toilet. They weren't officially gender neutral/mixed sex, but they effectively worked that way. One time I was using what was ostensibly the women's toilet and a man came in and barged into the cubicle after me, and sexually assaulted me using his fingers. I vaguely knew him and had always thou

anonymous woman

Mar 24
1 min

requesting a female nurse

I asked for female nurses when I gave birth to my baby as I am a Muslim woman. I was breast-feeding when a nurse came in. He was a man dressed up as a woman; he was big with huge hands. I must have looked shocked because he said, "Am I making you feel uncomfortable?" I was too scared to say yes, but as he gripped my thigh to administer an injection, I was mortified and embarrassed. It was a horrible experience. How can the NHS send in a man when you ask for a female? #united

anonymous woman

Mar 23
1 min

women's sexual assault support group

I didn't seek help, because all the women's support groups had males in them. I ended up getting much worse and having complete mental breakdown. #unitedkingdom #survivors #supportgroups #trauma #violence #sexualviolence #safespace