women's football team

I loved playing football on a women's team. I had played mixed sports in the past but noticed that men always seem to take over, passing mostly to other men and generally playing aggressively towards women. Compared to this, an amateur women’s football team felt like a safe space where women could play sport with other women without fear of being bulldozed by men. My inner-north Melbourne football team was very welcoming of women of all skill levels and abilities, and was generally just a fun time. As a lesbian I felt like I fitted in because there were a lot of other lesbians who played footy. There were also a few women who identified as gender non-binary, which at first I didn’t see as a problem at all. However, it wasn’t long before one gender non-binary woman complained about the language used at the club, such as ‘woman’ and ‘girls’ (girls was sometimes used in reference to the group of players such as in the way that male footy players call each other ‘boys’). She very aggressively told the coach off for using ‘gendered language’ and insisted that instead of referring to anyone on the team as women or girls, we should say ‘players’ or other gender non-specific terms. She also insisted that instead of referring to each other as ‘she/her’ (as in ‘pass her the ball’ or ‘she kicked a goal’) we should all use ‘they/them’ for all players, regardless of a player's gender identity. Thankfully, the coaches pushed back on the pronouns so we were still allowed to use she/her, unless of course someone had a personal preference for they/them. It wasn’t long before signs were posted up all over the club rooms reminding everyone of this. The next thing that happened was the promotion of a ‘gender-inclusive’ policy, that stated that anyone who identifies as a woman (though we can’t use this word) could play on our team. This meant that even people with fully intact male bodies could now play on our team and share our change rooms, if they said they were a woman. The culture of ‘inclusion’ meant that no one felt like they could speak against this policy, so many women just left the team without saying anything. I didn’t bother joining another team in the hope that it remained women-only, because I know it will be the same everywhere, eventually. I loved being part of a women-only team, there was something special about being around other women, without men, and I’m sad that it’s not possible anymore.

#australia #womensfootball #footballteam #sports #womenssport

service station toilets

Couple of years ago my mother and I used the ladies' loos at a motorway services in south wales. They were really busy - the queue was nearly out the door. In the midst of the bustle was a transwoman - clearly biologically male about 6'2, in his late 40s maybe early 50s with very broad shoulders, short blonde hair, wearing a skinnyfit pink tshirt, lipstick and jeans. From the queue I could see he was not waiting in line to use the loos but was standing outside cubicles waiting for women to go in and out, forcing them to brush past him. I think he saw I'd noticed him. When it was my turn he obstructed my access to a cubicle too. I politely said excuse me please, keeping my eyes down and he moved enough for me to brush past but then he waited outside and followed me to the sinks, staring me out the whole time like I had rumbled his game. I felt so unsafe even with my mom and all the other women there. I didn't see him leave the ladies toilets at all. Who knows how long he was in there. I'd have left if I could have held it or had anywhere else to go but I was heavily pregnant at the time.

#unitedkingdom #bathrooms #toilets #servicestation #sexualharassment

shelters & rehab

i work with homeless, and addicted women, often they are survivors of brutal male violence. i have increasingly been told when i try to get them in the women's shelter or rehab, that they left and won't go back, due to harassment by aggressive trans-identified males (TIMs), open masturbation, leering at them in the shower, etc. these women feel safer on the street during a pandemic, than in the places meant to help them, because of males' feelings being placed above the safety, boundaries, rights, and agency of actual women.

#unitedstates #shelters #rehab #homelessness #addiction #sexualharassment