aged care

I was a full-time carer for my partner after she developed early onset dementia. As a homosexual, her biggest fear was being sent to a facility where men were also accommodated. One night, she literally threw herself out of our bed with nightmares of being chased down the corridor by men. On the only occasion that I put her into a respite facility, I was assured they separated the men from the women.

The next morning I got there to find all doors were open and men were wandering into women's rooms. My partner was heavily sedated and complained of a sore head. I took her home and a couple of days later she had a massive bruise on the back of her head. We never went back. Numerous care workers in Aged Care Facilities cautioned me that no mixed facility could guarantee her safety and, even if she was raped (which was likely given her size and vulnerability and the inability of staff to supervise or segregate men), the perpetrator would not be prosecuted because both he and she lacked mental capacity.

I recently reached the age where I now qualify for aged care assistance and looked at the application form for in-home care. No doubt, I would be expected to allow anybody into my home that the care provider deemed 'suitable' (and I could see from the documentation that they have swallowed the Gender Identity Ideology Kool Aid) so, not only would I be expected to allow a biological man into my home to provide personal care, I would also be expected to allow a man who chooses to identify as a woman to do so - and we know what those men who pretend to be lesbians think of biological women who are real lesbians). I opted not to apply for assistance. I will manage as best I can on my own.

#australia #respite #hospital #agedcare #sexsegregation #safety #fear #discomfort #SelfID

disagreement over gender identity ideology dividing families

I don't feel comfortable around my adult children anymore. Their hypervigilance around the superior rights of trans and non-binary people is suffocating. It is a form of coercive control where I am not allowed to voice my concerns for women's safe spaces. I must get their friends’ pronouns correct or be deemed disrespectful. I have been marched out of one of my adult children's homes for saying I am not a cis-woman, I am a woman. I am called difficult and hurtful for raising concerns about self-id and not wanting to share toilets with biological men. I am gaslit and condescended to that I need to get educated and told 'not all men have penises'. I am ignored in my home for saying women are suffering as a result of the trans lobby. I know if I state my opinions, I risk my children turning their backs on me. I am scared to be myself.

#australia #home #family #disagreement #genderideology #genderidentityideology #womensrights #intergenerational

LesFest 2004 - Cancelled*

*First published in Lesbiana 128 (December 2003 - January 2004); submitted to NCTS in May 2021.

I never thought I’d live to see the day when a National Lesbian Festival and Conference had to be cancelled by the organisers because they were under threat of litigation by members of the LGTBI community. One of the main reasons I have continued to live in Melbourne all these years is because of the supportive lesbian feminist community. But also partly because of what has now proven to be an erroneous belief that within the broader Queer community there was a tolerance and respect for each others’ differences and appositional viewpoints.

Almost ten years ago, after the arguments over the inclusion of male to female transgenders at the Brisbane LesFest in July 1994 these words, written by Julie Peters, featured in the MSO News Feature, 16 September, 1994: ‘We can show empathy for women and maturity as trannys by respecting and encouraging women-born women’s private space.’ I have often mentioned this article in support of my arguments over the years that the Melbourne community is not like Brisbane or even Sydney where the challenge of the MTF trans* wrecked any chance that the Lesbian Space Project had of being a successful venture.

I was wrong. From the time _________ dobbed the LesFest organisors into the Equal Opportunity Commission for advertising the event for lesbians born female without so much as a warning beforehand, and then wonders why no-one was willing ‘to sit down at the table and communicate’ (Lesbiana October, 2003), the organisors have struggled to continue to organise what was going to be another joyous and celebratory occasion and at the same time do their best to fullfil the mandate from the Perth LesFest that it be for lesbians born female only.

To no avail. While even the patriarchal Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal recognised the needs of the lesbians born female community to have an exemption for the LesFest 2004, it was short-lived. The exemption was revoked, not by the AWN, as has been reported, but by a technicality that had nothing to do with the AWN. Of course the LesFest 2004 was illegal in the EOC sense of the word. Unless a group has a bonafide exemption from the Tribunal any support groups are illegal. No group, under the law as it stands, can refuse to admit anyone. The only way groups such as the Women’s Circus, for example, or the Lesbian Festivals, can function as womyn only / lesbian born female only support groups for their female members is by the goodwill of the broader community not to challenge the very basis of their need to have such a group.

In a world where everyone was treated equally and with respect we wouldn’t need to have groups to cater for the specific needs of lesbians over 40 or for lesbians born female or for lesbians with cancer or for incest survivors.

The LesFest 2004 was part of a tradition here in Victoria that started with the Radicalesbian Conference in Sorrento in 1973, moved into a larger format with the National Lesbian Feminist Conference and Celebration in Adelaide in 1989, the Lesbian Festival and Conference in 1990, the LezFest 1991 and the LezFest 1992 all three here in Melbourne, followed by the LesFest in Sydney in 1991, and the first live-in LesFest in Perth in 1993. After the Brisbane LesFest in 1994 the organisers at subsequent LesFests began to be more specific about the need for lesbians born female to get together for our own benefit. The organisers in Alice Springs (1995) Hobart (1997) Daylesford (1998) Adelaide (1999) Anglesea (2001) and Perth (2002) all continued the tradition of live-in LesFests for lesbians born female only. This is a tradition that has added immeasurably to lesbian born females lives. A tradition that has just been cancelled.

I’m not sure what ________ hoped to gain by dobbing the organisors into the EOC (an irony not lost on us radical feminists who fought in the 1970s to set up such legislation to protect our own best interests). There was no way we lesbian born females were suddenly going to change our minds about holding a gathering for ourselves. In fact, ________’s extremely hostile act has affirmed many of us in our determination that we more than ever need to organise events and places where we’re going to feel safe from those who are going to do us harm. And we will. We haven’t been politically organising all these years for nothing. It’s a sad fact that some lesbians did not attend the recent fundraising Women’s Ball in Daylesford for fear of appearing prejudiced or biassed against MTF trans* by supporting lesbians born female events. (As if supporting both groups is somehow mutually exclusive).

All I can say is that if MTF trans* give you the kind of love and support and political advocacy you have gained and relied and depended on from the radical feminist lesbians born female community over these past 30 years then you’ll be doing alright. Apparently Julie Peters has changed her mind about the need for lesbians born female to gather (MCV, 19 September, 2003) but I cannot do better than finish the article with more of Julie’s words (MSO, 16 September, 1994): ‘I would like to see lesbians, trannys and gays as allies against the patriarchy, helping each other grow by supporting private spaces for anyone who wants them, engaging in supportive debate, listening and not wasting a lot of time and emotional energy in bickering.’

*(Moderator’s note: I have modified the original text to replace the word ‘tranny’ with ‘trans’, except where it is used in a direct quote by a trans person, because arguably this word has become a slur (even though it may not have been in 1994)). I have also omitted the name of the prominent Melbourne transwoman who reported LesFest to the EOC).

#australia #melbourne #lesbianfestival #lesbianconference #equalopportunitycommission #VEOHRC #lesbianspaces #lesbiansbornfemale #sexualorientation