women's bathroom in a british pub

The incident I had was when using the toilets in a pub - just an ordinary pub. There were a couple of trans-identified males in the pub where I was drinking. They appeared to be a couple and by the way they were behaving, fetishists. I was playing them at pool at one point and was getting along OK with them. Their behaviour was highly sexualised - one of them would wiggle their PVC clad bottom at the other to distract from taking a shot. In the main area of the pub I found this tolerable. Later in the evening I when I went to use the toilet I could hear them both in the cubicle next to me. At this point again I wasn't too bothered. However, when I left my cubicle and was at the washbasin washing my hands and applying some lipstick, one of the two opened the door of their cubicle wide, revealing the other sitting on the loo with their legs wide apart. I felt that this was part of their roleplay and that they intended for me to see it. I didn't actually see genitalia. In the privacy of the ladies' loo this act made me feel very uncomfortable indeed. I felt unable to challenge their behaviour for fear of being accused of transphobia.

#unitedkingdom #bathrooms #toilets #fetish #exhibitionism

women's self-defence event

I organised a women's self-defence event a few years ago. On the day of the event several young women of university age attended. They all had slight/slim builds (this makes sense as these women are likely to feel even more vulnerable to violence from larger males and so would seek self defence training).

Two transwomen also attended, wearing very inappropriate clothing for a sports-type event (skirt, dress, dolly/ballerina type flat shoes). They both had a large build and were in their 30s. One of the transwomen had his wig in his hand, exposing his very obvious male-pattern baldness.

I spoke to the other organiser and we agreed that we were unfortunately not in a position to turn the transwomen away as the venue was extremely 'woke'. We also felt that risking the whole event being cancelled would deprive the female attendees of the chance to learn some self-defence skills and so proceeded with the event with the transwomen participating.

When attendees were asked to pair up, the two transwomen (who attended together) sought to pair up with other female attendees despite the very obvious massive disparity in height and weight. I stepped in to put the group into pairs with individuals of a similar height and weight in order to prevent the transwomen injuring female partners.

The instructor spent a few minutes talking about striking (punching) which the pairs then practiced with each other by holding pads. The instructor moved on, saying that due to anatomical sex difference, punching is rarely an effective self-defence technique for women. Despite moving on to practicing other techniques which are more effective for females, the two transwomen continued to practice throwing punches, even grunting whilst doing so.

Despite myself trying to manage the event tactfully, the presence of males at a women's self-defence event (which was so specifically aimed at females being able to use techniques which would offset the size, strength and weight of a male attacker) was very uncomfortable, posed a range of practical issues, and was certainly an elephant in the room.

As expected, none of the young women passed comment on their presence but dutifully got on with it... as women are conditioned to do!

#unitedkingdom #communitycentre #selfdefence #punching #sports

a teacher's perspective on girls in the boys' toilets

I'm a high school teacher. On one occasion, some boys in my form group (aged 15/16) disclosed to me that they felt extremely uncomfortable using the toilets whilst a trans pupil (female identifying as male) was present in them. They were not being derogatory or callous but felt that it was an invasion of their privacy. They said that they avoided using the toilet at break times and had started going during lesson time instead (thus losing out on learning time).

They also felt uncomfortable about it because they recognised that it's an intimidating situation for a girl to be surrounded by boys in the toilets and that it just didn't feel right to them to 'expose' themselves to a girl. They knew instinctively that men exposing themselves can intimidate women or make them uncomfortable. Just because a female pupil identified as a male, this did not remove their moral instinct to not make her uncomfortable.

The discomfort was two-fold. They were concerned for their privacy and dignity but they also felt as though it was forcing them to do something which went against their moral code.

#unitedkingdom #bathrooms #toilets #discomfort #transboy