self-ID and pub bathrooms

Recently I was out to dinner at a pub with my male partner. There was a quite obviously male person there in a dress and high heels, making them well over 6 feet tall. In itself this wasn't an issue; the issue was that the women's bathroom was a distance away and down a corridor. I was nervous to use it in case this person came in. Like many women I am a survivor of childhood abuse, and the idea of a large man potentially being in my personal space was intimidating to the point of leaving the venue earlier than planned. This wouldn't have been an issue (i.e. another human being having dinner and drinks in the venue) if I had certainty that this person wouldn't be allowed to use the female toilets, but self-ID has changed that.

All in all I am becoming more concerned day by day about gender identity ideology, not because I want to discriminate against individuals, but because of legislative changes, the safety of women and children, and freedom of speech. I am at the point where I may have to choose between my beliefs and my job.

#australia #safety #survivors #bathrooms #toilets #ideology

online surveys

I'm not sure if this information will be of value to others, but it has really impacted me.

I went to fill out a survey about England Rugby's transgender policy and found there was no category for my sex, only 'cis woman'. As such I had to write "woman" in the "other" category. I literally had to "other" myself to be included. I was bra-less, not wearing make-up, and in blue shorts and a black T-shirt when I was completing the survey - I'm not "cis" and I find the term insulting.

Another survey was regarding menstruation experiences for the group Share the Dignity. This survey included the categories 'male' and 'transgender woman'. I could not believe it. For a group who apparently cares about the menstrual needs of vulnerable women and girls, I was dumbfounded that they would entertain the notion that males menstruate, and also deal with consequent issues around menstruation such as heavy bleeding, taking time off work etc, etc.

As such I didn't complete the survey, and they lost information about my 33 years of menstruation (including difficulties in adolescence and with contraception).

#australia #surveys #language #woman #menstruation #notcis #data

women's bathroom in a british pub

The incident I had was when using the toilets in a pub - just an ordinary pub. There were a couple of trans-identified males in the pub where I was drinking. They appeared to be a couple and by the way they were behaving, fetishists. I was playing them at pool at one point and was getting along OK with them. Their behaviour was highly sexualised - one of them would wiggle their PVC clad bottom at the other to distract from taking a shot. In the main area of the pub I found this tolerable. Later in the evening I when I went to use the toilet I could hear them both in the cubicle next to me. At this point again I wasn't too bothered. However, when I left my cubicle and was at the washbasin washing my hands and applying some lipstick, one of the two opened the door of their cubicle wide, revealing the other sitting on the loo with their legs wide apart. I felt that this was part of their roleplay and that they intended for me to see it. I didn't actually see genitalia. In the privacy of the ladies' loo this act made me feel very uncomfortable indeed. I felt unable to challenge their behaviour for fear of being accused of transphobia.

#unitedkingdom #bathrooms #toilets #fetish #exhibitionism