appropriate workplace behaviour

We have a man who decided to come out as 'a woman', first wearing lipstick and nail polish, and then moved onto women’s clothing. We were forced at work to share the female bathrooms with this man.

I’m not fussed as to what one wants to do, but I do feel uncomfortable in the workplace having this man tell me what colour lipstick and nail polish to wear, and discuss his bra-fitting experience. Honestly, as a woman I don’t discuss these things with anywone I barely know, let alone a work colleague.

It seems to me that it's about showing and telling everyone what’s going on. Mind you this person still had their long beard! And would talk about war weapons and machine guns. I never felt comfortable. I was worried that I would walk into the bathroom and he would be there.

I feel women are being pushed into something we don’t all want. Our voices are being squashed by a new something I’m not sure about.

#australia #workplace #professionalism #exhibitionism #bathrooms #discomfort

the new trans activism triggering childhood sexual abuse trauma

Becoming aware of gender ideology and the activities of trans activists has triggered feelings linked to my experience of childhood sexual abuse (CSA). I have not felt these feelings so strongly for many years but the sexual objectification of women by AGP men, the threats, silencing, and gaslighting are all very evocative of that earlier experience and have raised my anxiety levels considerably. This in turn has caused a relapse of my physical health as I also live with chronic fatigue syndrome / myalgic encephalomyelitis (CFS/ME). At one point the anxiety attacks and physical and cognitive exhaustion were so overwhelming that I felt in need of crisis support. I looked up my local rape crisis centre as knew that there would be someone at the end of the phone and I just desperately needed a listening ear from a woman who would understand the link between CSA and my response to transactivism and gender ideology. When I found the centre online I was totally dismayed to see that they now offer a service to trans women. I did not ring them as I was really worried that the women staffing the service would not understand my experience and would condemn me as transphobic. At that moment I felt very alone and that this service had been robbed from me. It is hard to convey just how much despair I felt, emotionally locked back into historical abuse by men, and by the current actions of men. I'm now, a few weeks later, in a much better place emotionally but I am still experiencing CFS/ME relapse and don't how long it will take me to recover.

#unitedkingdom #genderideology #safety #triggering #childhoodsexualabuse #trauma #recovery #support

chilling effect on speech in local authority

I work for a local authority that has Stonewall affiliation. Earlier last year the Woman’s Network was established and I joined, becoming a founding member. The loal authority celebrated Pride, trans awareness week, and trans Remembrance Day, but totally ignored Violence Against Women and Girls day, opting to raise awareness on domestic violence - which was not a bad thing, but referred to men & women. The network is open to all women including trans. Every issue that we deal with includes men who identify as women. On International Women’s Day one participant’s “challenge” was to give trans people access to facilities that match their gender. There are many areas where trans rights conflict with women’s sex-based rights and I want to speak out but dare not. Inclusion & diversity are such a priority and it is made very clear that non-conformity would be dealt with negatively. I find it stressful and it has impacted on my relationship with my work colleagues in the Network. I am very careful about what I say but I feel we are losing opportunities and just going through the motions when we could be doing so much more. I am sure many other women are pressured to keep their opinions to themselves because it could negatively affect their career. When you have a choice of speaking up or losing your job, some women have no choice.

#unitedkingdom #workplace #silencing #diversity #inclusion #stonewall