Feminism | NoConflictTheySaid

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interests. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Melbourne, Australia by members of the LGB Alliance Australia.

LGB Alliance chfINAL (1).png

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to be redirected to a secure submission form.

All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Jun 7
2 min

man sexualises beauty services & makes everyone feel uncomfortable

A couple of days ago, I went to my local nail salon to get my nails done. It’s a pretty small place, but the women who work there are always so friendly and great at their job. So I’m getting my nails painted, and it’s just me, one other customer, and 3 workers. About ten minutes before I’m finished, an AGP (autogynephile) walks in. (From a distance I couldn’t quite tell if the person was a dude, but he had a shitty wig on with a hat on top, to hide the obvious wig, and the m

anonymous woman

Jun 7
1 min

'parental leave' replaces 'maternity leave' in guidelines

The new NHMRC (National Health and Medical Research Council) gender-neutral guidelines give preference to the term 'Parental Leave'. Not 'Maternity Leave'. As a mother, I took maternity leave - which has implicit recognition of the additional burden of carrying a developing human in my womb for the better part of a year, giving birth to that precious new human, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and all the other experiences of motherhood, that only mothers - who take materni

anonymous woman

Jun 4
1 min

breast screen victoria website

On the Breast Screen Victoria website: "If you were assigned female at birth and have not had chest surgery, screening is recommended." This statement is posted under a section for "Non-binary/gender diverse people", but why is an organisation based on science buying into the "assigned at birth" nonsense? #australia #melbourne #breastscreening #language

anonymous woman

Jun 2
2 min

aged care

I was a full-time carer for my partner after she developed early onset dementia. As a homosexual, her biggest fear was being sent to a facility where men were also accommodated. One night, she literally threw herself out of our bed with nightmares of being chased down the corridor by men. On the only occasion that I put her into a respite facility, I was assured they separated the men from the women. The next morning I got there to find all doors were open and men were wander

anonymous woman

Jun 2
1 min

disagreement over gender identity ideology dividing families

I don't feel comfortable around my adult children anymore. Their hypervigilance around the superior rights of trans and non-binary people is suffocating. It is a form of coercive control where I am not allowed to voice my concerns for women's safe spaces. I must get their friends’ pronouns correct or be deemed disrespectful. I have been marched out of one of my adult children's homes for saying I am not a cis-woman, I am a woman. I am called difficult and hurtful for raising

anonymous woman

Jun 2
4 min

LesFest 2004 - Cancelled*

*First published in Lesbiana 128 (December 2003 - January 2004); submitted to NCTS in May 2021. I never thought I’d live to see the day when a National Lesbian Festival and Conference had to be cancelled by the organisers because they were under threat of litigation by members of the LGTBI community. One of the main reasons I have continued to live in Melbourne all these years is because of the supportive lesbian feminist community. But also partly because of what has now pro

anonymous woman

May 12
3 min

melbourne women's circus: exclusion as the cost of defending women's space

I was a member of Melbourne's Women's Circus when in April 2000 a 'transwoman' wrote and asked if he could join the Women's Circus. The circus was formed in 1990 in order to work with women who had suffered from sexual abuse or rape (Liebmann et al., 1997). I joined in 1994. Circus is a place of physical and emotional trust. There is bodily intimacy in balances, in double aerials acts. There is one balance in which the flyer puts her head between the legs of the base; there

anonymous woman

May 11
1 min

using trans identity to control victims

I started a new sport a few years ago, taking up martial arts gym membership. There I struck up a friendship with the gym's top fighter. This guy had won lots of fights & seemed eager to support my new learning endeavour. He was a typical athlete in presentation, hegemonic & hyper masculine. The relationship quickly moved from friendship to romantic. One day he intentionally punched me & I started crying asking " why"? He said it was because he was frustrated due to his

anonymous woman

May 9
1 min

woman as the emotional support human, including for transwomen

I've noticed that some younger and older women seem to spend a considerable amount of their emotional resources, particularly online, encouraging and validating transwomen's sense being a "a pretty, attractive woman" as they might a female friend if that friend wanted or needed such validation or assurance. Yet, it's much more than basic encouragement. It's almost as if these women have fallen into a default supportive role of supporting transwomen being 'real women' via a f

anonymous woman

May 8
1 min

lesbian social support groups

About 15 years ago, before the current trans politics became so powerful, I came out as a lesbian and attended several organised social gatherings and support groups. Already there were trans-identified males turning up and taking part as "lesbians" and no one said anything, I think because women are so socialised to be nice. The males' behaviour was mostly ok, but just having them there made me uncomfortable and changed the vibe, it just wasn't a lesbian group any more. One

anonymous woman

May 7
2 min

unisex toilets in library

In the past few months so many places have turned their bathrooms over to "gender neutral" that I have found myself on a number of occasions having to use these unisex toilets. Men and women use toilets differently, it's just a fact. Women generally sit down, men generally stand up. Even the smell of urine is different. The ghastly odor that hits you as you walk into the Unisex toilets at Marrickville library is the first thing you notice - men have splashed everywhere

anonymous woman

May 7
1 min

if a man follows you into the bathroom, don't worry! he knows his gender identity better than you

a teenage girl in melbourne was followed into a toilet block and raped by a 45 year-old man, according to this news report. activists for gender identity campaign for women to not ask questions when they see men in their bathrooms. see e.g. this and this. #australia #melbourne #rape #sexualassault #safety #maleviolence

anonymous woman

May 6
1 min

international women's day events

This year, I didn't feel safe going to the International Women’s Day festival in my area, because a trans-identified man was on a panel, so I didn't go. It is hard enough that men are taking limited positions on panels at women's day events, assuming the right to not only participate but to lead discussions about women's issues. It is frustrating to watch that happen, and to see other women supporting it rather than standing up against it. But this event was even worse, be

anonymous woman

May 4
1 min

coegee rockpool baths

The Coogee Rockpool women's baths have existed for many decades. They offer women-only change rooms, sunning areas and a rockpool entirely used by women, but because it is run by the Coogee Council it is now threatened by being open to transwomen. That would stop many elderly, non-western, disabled etc. women using this pool. I certainly would no longer use that unique facility, as an elderly female-born human being. I am extremely angry, because there is no media or any oth

anonymous woman

Apr 24
2 min

victorian school building authority

I know of three Victorian schools all in metropolitan Melbourne which have felt mislead and or tricked by the Victorian School Building Authority's project management team into building "gender neutral" i.e. mixed-sex toilets. Each of these three schools - in two different school regions - have been told that they must install gender neutral toilets as part of the school upgrades (of varying sizes and budgets), and then told that when they get their certificate of occupancy

anonymous woman

Apr 24
2 min

requesting a woman lawyer in a community legal centre

For many years now a lawyer who identifies as a woman has been working in community legal services in northern regional Victoria. This person seems well regarded by local magistrates' court staff and magistrates, and is an affable, pleasant individual. In various meeting with the local court that I witnessed, this individual struggles to hide his sex as he is a chronic mansplainer. But every one smiles and calls him 'she' and by his chosen name. The thing that worries me m

anonymous woman

Apr 22
2 min

women's facebook groups

I can no longer trust that a women's Facebook group, or a women's interests group, is all women, or that the topic won't get derailed by mods insisting on 'inclusion' of trans-identified men in the group or constantly referencing their issues. I didn't previously think trans-identified women caused problems in these spaces, as they tend to be lower profile (funny that), but increasingly there is insistence that we as women have to remember that 'not everyone who has a period

anonymous woman

Apr 21
1 min

melbourne bar makes its toilets unisex while asking about women's safety

I recently went out to a bar in Brunswick, Melbourne. Since the last time I was there all the toilets have been made unisex. Whilst I was in line, a male person wearing female clothing joined the line and tried to make small talk with me. I have not experienced this behaviour from other women during previous visits to this venue. I also saw unattended drinks left on the sink. What really made me angry was a sign inside the formerly-female toilet doors saying there has been a

anonymous woman

Apr 17
1 min

non-man-identifying prizes for fiction writing

The UK's 'Women's prize for fiction' is open to anyone who 'identifies' as a woman, as is the Stella Prize in Australia. I'm not sure if this is for political or legal reasons. These prizes are meant to give women an opportunity to get income and publicity in a male-dominated culture and industry. Affirmative action literally cannot work for women if males can simply 'identify' themselves into such opportunities. Why are women being abused for objecting to this? (Currently

anonymous woman

Apr 16
2 min

intimate care in hospital

For background, I have cancer and therefore have extensive experience being a patient in public and private hospitals. In 2020 I was admitted to the Acute Medial Unit at Royal Melbourne Hospital due to an extreme allergic reaction to an anti-epileptic drug that caused me to break out in hives and a horrible rash all over my body. And I mean all over. I had two female doctors have to come in (one supervising the other because of the intimate nature of the examination) and ins