#australia

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interests. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Melbourne, Australia by members of the LGB Alliance Australia.

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All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Jul 21
1 min

ladies' night at the gay sauna... with penises

I was at a "lesbian" swingers' club a couple of months back. It was originally advertised in its Facebook group as an event for "people with vulvas", but the trans activists and their comrades jumped on it and the group ended up changing their entry qualifications. So on the actual night there were a whole bunch of 50+ year-old men masturbating over girls getting it on with each other. A group of men ended up having a gangbang in an open room for all to see. (I don't think an

anonymous woman

Jul 17
4 min

(likely) historical date rape by men in women's clothing

I am now a happy 53 year-old woman. As a teenager, I was doing a hairdressing apprenticeship. In this field, I worked alongside many homosexual people and considered myself an ally and still do. I moved to a different salon, aged about 19, and when a hairdresser moves salon they must work very hard to build up a clientele. Thursdays were late night trading and we would typically finish work around 10pm after starting at 9am. My last client of the night, who I had styled her h

anonymous woman

Jul 1
1 min

"gendered violence" now includes women complaining about men in their bathrooms

My Victorian government workplace has updated its list of examples of gendered violence. I see now in that list of examples one describing a transgender male overhearing colleagues complaining about his presence in the women’s workplace toilets. So now, despite the loss of privacy, safety and dignity for the women who have to share toilets with males, those males are the ones who get to complain should a woman not want to compromise her single-sex spaces and share it with

anonymous woman

Jun 30
1 min

men, disabled, and unisex

The girls/womens toilet no longer exists at the Flatrock Southbound toilet stop on the Hume Highway Victoria. I stopped there with my daughters 29/01/20. There is a male toilet. A male ambulant toilet. And a unisex toilet. I took a photo because I couldn’t believe it. After hundreds of years of women having no separate toilets…. we are going back to having no separate toilets again. And who are the people demanding these things? It is women, mostly. White academic women. Beau

anonymous woman

Jun 30
1 min

finally, a story that ends well (online group for lesbians ejects man)

I was cotton ceiling-ed by a trans-identified male on Facebook by DM. He was wanting to come up and hang out with me. I wasn't interested, I said 'No, I am same-sex attracted', and that I'm only interested in being friends. The next thing I'm being called a genital fetishist and a transphobe! I have never had this happen before, so I contacted an admin of the lesbian group he was on, and complained. Then I called my friend and told her about this trans-identified male trying

anonymous woman

Jun 24
1 min

australian girls' school sports

This is not a personal story but an observation. I am a male high-school teacher. I am old enough to remember when girls' sport at school was very much an afterthought and the boys were celebrated to a greater degree. Girls were blocked from participating in "boys' sports" such as cricket and rugby. My colleagues and I have worked very hard for decades to encourage schoolgirls to participate to the best of their desire and ability in all sports. I fear our work will be undone

anonymous woman

Jun 24
4 min

public housing estate with mainly women over 55 years old

For 8 years now I've been living in a unit in a small public housing estate near Melbourne. There are only 23 units allocated to residents over 55, some of whom have experienced homelessness & mental health problems. It is mostly occupied by older women in their late 60s/70s. 3.5 months ago, a new resident was placed who was welcomed by neighbours, at first sight a man in his late 40s. It became clear this person presented as a butch looking man by day, but dressed up as a wo

anonymous woman

Jun 21
1 min

scienceworks & immunologist's office bathrooms

Firstly at Scienceworks in Melbourne, their main toilet is unisex so you walk into the bathroom area and line up to wait for the cubicles to be free. On one occasion a few years ago I took my young daughters in and there were people in line, including two men. There was nothing unusual or threatening about these men whatsoever but I felt very uncomfortable and was glad I hadn't sent my daughters in on their own. A couple of years ago I went with my husband to his appointment

anonymous woman

Jun 20
1 min

all girls senior school

My daughter has had three trans people in her year at school for four years. She has asked me why are they allowed to wear whatever they like while everyone else has to wear a uniform? Why are they allowed to miss so much school all the time? Why, when everyone has to do projects, do they always do projects on trans issues ? My observation is that this arrangement has created a high level of resentment from the rest of the students who don’t have an issue with the gender iden

anonymous woman

Jun 15
2 min

trans woman harassing young girls on melbourne public transport

I am a young woman in my mid twenties living in Melbourne, Australia. Our city is quite liberal, and indeed, all public institutions, brands, companies and councils are intensely courting the LGBT+ communities. It has made for any hint or suggestion of questioning trans people and non-binary people as career and image ending. It is deeply unfortunate, because as we all know, the way we respond to biologically male and female people is something that our bodies cannot control.

anonymous woman

Jun 15
1 min

women's toilets in hospital

Went into a women's toilet in a Sydney hospital. There was a trans woman in there just standing around. I didn't want to leave the cubicle as said person was still lingering by the sink. I was afraid to go and wash my hands. Finally I heard the main door and assumed they had left so I left the cubicle only to find they were still in there just standing around. I skipped washing my hands and left abruptly. #australia #hospital #safety #discomfort #bathrooms #toilets

anonymous woman

Jun 7
2 min

man sexualises beauty services & makes everyone feel uncomfortable

A couple of days ago, I went to my local nail salon to get my nails done. It’s a pretty small place, but the women who work there are always so friendly and great at their job. So I’m getting my nails painted, and it’s just me, one other customer, and 3 workers. About ten minutes before I’m finished, an AGP (autogynephile) walks in. (From a distance I couldn’t quite tell if the person was a dude, but he had a shitty wig on with a hat on top, to hide the obvious wig, and the m

anonymous woman

Jun 7
1 min

'parental leave' replaces 'maternity leave' in guidelines

The new NHMRC (National Health and Medical Research Council) gender-neutral guidelines give preference to the term 'Parental Leave'. Not 'Maternity Leave'. As a mother, I took maternity leave - which has implicit recognition of the additional burden of carrying a developing human in my womb for the better part of a year, giving birth to that precious new human, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and all the other experiences of motherhood, that only mothers - who take materni

anonymous woman

Jun 4
1 min

breast screen victoria website

On the Breast Screen Victoria website: "If you were assigned female at birth and have not had chest surgery, screening is recommended." This statement is posted under a section for "Non-binary/gender diverse people", but why is an organisation based on science buying into the "assigned at birth" nonsense? #australia #melbourne #breastscreening #language

anonymous woman

Jun 2
2 min

aged care

I was a full-time carer for my partner after she developed early onset dementia. As a homosexual, her biggest fear was being sent to a facility where men were also accommodated. One night, she literally threw herself out of our bed with nightmares of being chased down the corridor by men. On the only occasion that I put her into a respite facility, I was assured they separated the men from the women. The next morning I got there to find all doors were open and men were wander

anonymous woman

Jun 2
1 min

disagreement over gender identity ideology dividing families

I don't feel comfortable around my adult children anymore. Their hypervigilance around the superior rights of trans and non-binary people is suffocating. It is a form of coercive control where I am not allowed to voice my concerns for women's safe spaces. I must get their friends’ pronouns correct or be deemed disrespectful. I have been marched out of one of my adult children's homes for saying I am not a cis-woman, I am a woman. I am called difficult and hurtful for raising

anonymous woman

Jun 2
4 min

LesFest 2004 - Cancelled*

*First published in Lesbiana 128 (December 2003 - January 2004); submitted to NCTS in May 2021. I never thought I’d live to see the day when a National Lesbian Festival and Conference had to be cancelled by the organisers because they were under threat of litigation by members of the LGTBI community. One of the main reasons I have continued to live in Melbourne all these years is because of the supportive lesbian feminist community. But also partly because of what has now pro

anonymous woman

May 12
3 min

melbourne women's circus: exclusion as the cost of defending women's space

I was a member of Melbourne's Women's Circus when in April 2000 a 'transwoman' wrote and asked if he could join the Women's Circus. The circus was formed in 1990 in order to work with women who had suffered from sexual abuse or rape (Liebmann et al., 1997). I joined in 1994. Circus is a place of physical and emotional trust. There is bodily intimacy in balances, in double aerials acts. There is one balance in which the flyer puts her head between the legs of the base; there

anonymous woman

May 11
1 min

using trans identity to control victims

I started a new sport a few years ago, taking up martial arts gym membership. There I struck up a friendship with the gym's top fighter. This guy had won lots of fights & seemed eager to support my new learning endeavour. He was a typical athlete in presentation, hegemonic & hyper masculine. The relationship quickly moved from friendship to romantic. One day he intentionally punched me & I started crying asking " why"? He said it was because he was frustrated due to his

anonymous woman

May 9
1 min

woman as the emotional support human, including for transwomen

I've noticed that some younger and older women seem to spend a considerable amount of their emotional resources, particularly online, encouraging and validating transwomen's sense being a "a pretty, attractive woman" as they might a female friend if that friend wanted or needed such validation or assurance. Yet, it's much more than basic encouragement. It's almost as if these women have fallen into a default supportive role of supporting transwomen being 'real women' via a f