#selfID

No Conflict, They SAid

In Australia and around the world, legislation is being introduced that replaces sex with gender identity. Advocates insist that there is no conflict of interest. But governments are not collecting data on the impacts of this legislative change. We're worried about the impacts on women of men using women-only spaces, including but not limited to: changing rooms, fitting rooms, bathrooms, shelters, rape and domestic violence refuges, gyms, spas, sports, schools, accommodations, hospital wards, shortlists, prizes, quotas, political groups, prisons, clubs, events, festivals, dating apps, and language. If we can't collect data, we can at least collect stories. Please tell us how your use of women-only spaces has been impacted. All stories will be published anonymously. If you know of other women who have been impacted, please encourage them to tell their stories too.

This site is run from Australia, New Zealand members of the LGB Defence, and Speak Up for Women, supported by LGB Alliance.

Tell us your story

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All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

anonymous woman

Aug 27, 2022
1 min

Drag queens representing women?

I have a male friend who, since a relationship breakdown, has taken to performing drag. This was initially just a performance thing, but he's recently taken to dressing up frequently and for general social gatherings. When in drag, he wants to be called a female name and uses the women's toilets. Our other friends seem perfectly okay with this, but I am not. In fact, some of them vocally champion him and deride anyone who speaks up. I've distanced myself from them as a group,

anonymous woman

Jun 29, 2022
2 min

trade union capture

I live in Scotland but would rather it said I live in the UK. Scotland is a very small place! In my trade union, more and more men are identifying as women and taking traditional women's roles, including on the regional and national Women's Committees. Their excuse is that women don't seem to be interested in sitting on Committees. For a number of years, women have been asking for Women's Committees to take place in the evening or at weekends when it is easier to get someon

anonymous woman

Mar 29, 2022
3 min

transwomen take over women-only childfree facebook group

I was part of an online women-only childfree group. It wasn’t a huge group but I liked that it was female - focused and included women who were childfree by choice and those who were unable to have them for various medical reasons. It mostly contained general chit chat but there were also several women in the group who had been abused and wanted a safe place to talk without male onlookers. At the time I was in an abusive relationship and disclosed some (but not all) of wha

anonymous woman

Mar 22, 2022
1 min

mistrust of health professionals

I have a history of depression and mental illness. I am afraid to speak to mental health professionals now because if I were to need inpatient therapy, there would be TIMs [trans-identified males] housed in the female areas. I have experienced sexual trauma in the past and my worst nightmare is being locked involuntarily in a room with a male. I no longer feel safe seeking crisis mental health support because if I get put on a mental health hold, my roommate might be male and

anonymous woman

Mar 14, 2022
2 min

bullied out of arts scene for rejecting AGP male

I was at one time an 'emerging new talent on the scene' who my small-town arts scene had taken notice of. I had peers and colleagues that were supportive and fun. The AGP [autogynophile] in my friendship circle became very close to me and he made himself into my mentor, but he would turn on me in the most vindictive and nearly violent way the one night I asserted my boundaries with him. He almost assaulted me before I begged him to calm down. His suddenly hysterical response

anonymous woman

Mar 10, 2022
1 min

young women self-silencing

I have spoken a little with my daughter about my views on, for example, a male person running a rape crisis centre and refusing to allow women to choose a female staff member, or about women being forced to share cells with male rapists in prison. At first she shouted me down and basically told me that I must not speak these thoughts out loud. Tonight, she and a friend told me they agree with everything I said, but they would be too afraid to say it out loud. You cannot say t

anonymous woman

Mar 10, 2022
1 min

"Why does a RadFem Club have a man for president?!"

I met X in my freshman year at college. I was a diehard feminist, self-educated over the internet and was of course supportive of trans women. (Granted, my support was theoretical since I never met one.) I as a matter of course joined up with a radfem club in college, and was a tad surprised when I saw a tall, gangly, obviously male figure wearing tight yoga pants and a flowery skirt. That was X. He must have caught me staring, because he promptly sat down next to me, and

anonymous woman

Mar 10, 2022
3 min

hamstead women's pond, or, women's inhumanity to women

[Moderator's note: at the recent IWD 2022 meeting in Brisbane, a recurring theme was that violation of women-only spaces wasn't always being done by trans-identified men, but sometimes by other women, acting on behalf of merely _hypothetical_ trans-identified men. That is to say, some women are destroying single-sex spaces for all women. I think this submission really captures that problem...] The City of London has decided that any male self-identifying as a woman may use t

anonymous woman

Mar 10, 2022
1 min

women's area of mixed-sex gym

I belong to a gym with big emphasis on weight lifting. Lots of big brawny guys lifting heavy. There is also a small women's area upstairs which the Muslim girls tend to use. A trans-identified man joined. He asked management if he could use the women-only area. They said no - and understandably so, given the cultural sensitivities of Muslim women and their need for privacy. I was struck by how nonsensical it was for a trans-identified man to join a very blokey gym and to the

anonymous woman

Jan 18, 2022
1 min

women-only compartments in trains (india)

Public transport like buses and trains in India have women-only coaches and seats to protect women from male violence. Women in the city I am in rely on these women-only compartments to be able to earn their living and exercise their basic rights of movement and personal liberty. On an evening in 2017 I was travelling back home and it was fairly crowded, though not too much. I saw a man dressed in a salwar-kameez (common attire for Indian women) talking on the phone in the

anonymous woman

Dec 6, 2021
1 min

ABC coverage of transwomen and "menopause"

This is not a story of a single incident, rather an attitude that is becoming so invasive it is eroding the rights of women. Tracey Holmes (an ABC sports writer) recently quoted a Canadian trans-woman athlete. Unfortunately, I am unable to find the article to cite directly. But this trans-woman compared his experience of transitioning to going through instant menopause. Now, how can a person born a male know what going through menopause feels like? I am a 48 year old woman

anonymous woman

Jun 2, 2021
2 min

aged care

I was a full-time carer for my partner after she developed early onset dementia. As a homosexual, her biggest fear was being sent to a facility where men were also accommodated. One night, she literally threw herself out of our bed with nightmares of being chased down the corridor by men. On the only occasion that I put her into a respite facility, I was assured they separated the men from the women. The next morning I got there to find all doors were open and men were wander

anonymous woman

May 11, 2021
1 min

using trans identity to control victims

I started a new sport a few years ago, taking up martial arts gym membership. There I struck up a friendship with the gym's top fighter. This guy had won lots of fights & seemed eager to support my new learning endeavour. He was a typical athlete in presentation, hegemonic & hyper masculine. The relationship quickly moved from friendship to romantic. One day he intentionally punched me & I started crying asking " why"? He said it was because he was frustrated due to his

anonymous woman

Feb 26, 2021
2 min

women's clothing store

My 71-year-old disabled mother was trying on clothes in a Millers (womens clothing chain) change room in Tasmania (where we have self-ID), and was horrified to find herself sharing the change rooms with a tall, muscular man with a shaved head, wearing stilettos and a bodycon skirt. The man was talking loudly about how wonderful it was that he was allowed to try on clothes there. My mother felt so uncomfortable being undressed beside a strange man with only a 2/3 height door

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

orchestra dressing-room

There’s a male musician in my orchestra who dresses in women’s clothing. He won his audition at the same time as a gay male player of the same instrument. Both of them started using the women’s dressing room. Our personnel manager finally told the male who doesn’t dress in women’s clothes that he can’t use it, but the one who does dress like a woman wasn’t confronted at all. It’s a very small space in a historic opera house, and this women’s-clothing-guy spreads his stuff all

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
2 min

women-only recovery group

I was in the group for roughly a year. It was the only 12 Step type recovery group exclusively for women in the area. I found this group through a word of mouth direct invite from a woman I met in a recovery group specifically for survivors of domestic abuse and sexual assault. One day a 6ft 4in man with a robust build in his 50s came into our space. He wore women’s clothes and attempted to grow out his thinning hair and dye it a bizarre color of orange. He also attempted to

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

university campus toilet

I attended a course taught by a male lecturer dressed like a parody of a woman, not in professional clothing, but like a Barbie doll or something. The course was not about gender, but he ran a group discussion on male access to women's toilets and stood towering over a woman dressed in traditional modest Islamic clothing during the discussion, in a way that looked very dominating and threatening. I stood up to him in a couple of minor ways when he was bullying the women in th

anonymous woman

Feb 24, 2021
1 min

rape crisis centre

Rape Crisis Scotland currently has at least one trans woman (biological male with no Gender Recognition Certificate) who manages a Rape Crisis Centre. There is a video of him laughing about how he obtained a position in a women’s single-sex organisation by deception. When challenged on Twitter he put up a picture of an Indian goddess holding a decapitated head. Rape Crisis Scotland continues to employ him. I’m not sure how many other biological males who identify as women are

anonymous woman

Feb 23, 2021
1 min

males using women's toilets

A male who claimed to be a woman joined a class I was teaching. He (I refuse to use preferred pronouns) was an ex-welder; short, built like a bullet. He disrupted every session and refused to interact with other students (female or male). I had to extend the break times when the women discovered he was allowed to use their toilets - the women started going to the toilets in a different building. I consulted the college counsellors and was told he was to use the Ladies as he ‘

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

All stories are published anonymously, but if you'd like to contact the moderator you're welcome to do so at:

noconflicttheysaid@gmail.com.

organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand

Speak Up for Women

Lesbian Action for Visibility in Aotearoa

LGB Alliance Aotearoa New Zealand

Suffragettes NZ

Mana Wāhine Kōrero

WDI Australia and New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom

LGB Alliance UK

Sex Matters

Scottish Labour Women's Declaration

Standing for Women

Stats for Sex Segregation

Women are human

Women's Rights Network

women politicians speaking up for women-only spaces

Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

No Conflict, They SAid

Tell us your story Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

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organizations working to protect women-only spaces

New Zealand ​

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Womens Liberation Aotearoa .nz/

Australia ​​ Save Women's Sports Australasia ​ The Coalition for Biological Reality ​ LGB Defence ​ IWD Brisbane/Meanjin ​ The Victorian Women's Guild ​ Fair Go For Queensland Women Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom​

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Senator Claire Chandler (Tasmania, Australia)

MP Louise Staley (Victoria, Australia)

Tell us your story

Click on the graphic below to email your submission, whilst we upgrade server.

New Zealand

Womens Liberation Aotearoa
.nz/

Australia

Save Women's Sports Australasia

The Coalition for Biological Reality

LGB Defence

IWD Brisbane/Meanjin

The Victorian Women's Guild

Fair Go For Queensland Women

Lost Womens Rights

United Kingdom